The Book
THE BOOK
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THE SILENT REVOLUTION
Posted August 24, 2010
The purpose of this book is to inspire you, and empower you to make positive changes in your own life and shape a far greater humanity. We are living in the age where we can create World Peace.
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
INDEX
CHAPTER ONE
Awareness
- of the Whole - published September 25, 2010
- of the Self - published September 25, 2010
- of Each Other - published November 10, 2010
- of our Physical Environment - published November 25, 2010
- of our Communication in Relationships - published August 25, 2011
- of our Social Systems - coming soon
- Government
- Schools
- Economic model
- T.V.
- Food Production
- Health
- Corporate Influence
- Military
Awareness of our Invisible Environment
- Energy and Consciousness
Awareness of the Universe
- Carl Sagan
- Nasa
- Harmony and Peace
CHAPTER TWO
Acknowledgement
CHAPTER THREE
Outside Logical Thinking
- Mother Therese
- Susan George
- Walt Disney
- Noam Chomsky
CHAPTER FOUR
Vision
CHAPTER FIVE
Action
CHAPTER SIX
Alignment
CHAPTER SEVEN
Measurement
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Super Power of Civil Society
- Boutros Boutros-Ghali
- Invastion of Iraq
- International Peace Movement
- The People of Canada and Prime Minister Jean Cretien
CHAPTER NINE
Contradictions Do Not Exist
- Ayn Rand
- The Alchemist
CHAPTER TEN
Vocation
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Strategies for World Peace
- The Global Elders
- Miracle at Fushun
- Japanese Constitution Article 9
- Jeremy Gilley: Day One of World Peace
CHAPTER TWELVE
Beyond World Peace
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Posted August 24, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter One
AWARENESS
Awareness of the Whole
If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
Chinese Proverb
Australia’s Great Barrier Reef is truly magnificent - a coral reef stretching 3,000 km from the tip of Cape York to the coastal town of Bundaberg. It is full of rich, diverse and colourful sea life.
This is where I experienced my first moment of awakening – out on a small boat, in the moon-lit blackness of the ocean.
I was 22 years old when my boyfriend, Ross, and I traveled to Australia, with the intention of emigrating. I was born in Melbourne, SE Australia, but left when I was a baby. So, over the years, I had developed a deep curiosity about the land.
Bored with our mundane jobs, and routine life, Ross and I managed to save up $18,000 between the two of us, and we packed our clothes, booked seats on a jumbo jet, and headed across the Pacific for about 20 hours. Upon arriving in Sydney, after getting our bearings, and staying for a week in a shady hotel, we purchased a used kombi to carry us up and down the east coast. A kombi (combination) is a VW van with a little kitchen (stove and cupboards) and a bench that converts to a double bed. It had a pop-top roof for air conditioning and an additional single bed above. It was white and orange, and had a good, strong engine.
We traveled north along the east coast, stopping at camp sites in towns and cities and exploring the local scenery, culture, and food. The chips (French fries) in Australia are the best I’ve ever tasted. I think it has something to do with the red, iron-rich soil that the potatoes are grown in. The scenery along the Gold Coast is gorgeous - beaches upon beaches of golden sand stretching for miles, without a soul on them, clear blue warm water, palm trees, and rugged rocks.
When we reached Arlie Beach, off the Great Barrier Reef, we chartered a small engine boat, captained by an older couple who enjoyed taking tourists on small voyages. It was an over- night trip and, during the first day, we ventured across the reef to a small sand cay where we were dropped of to go snorkeling. We were awe-struck by the beauty and colour of what lay just below the surface.
From above the water, it looked grayish-blue but, just underneath, the water was alive with orange fish, green sea cucumbers, and a clam that I’m sure was 8 ft. long. Its mouth was partly open, revealing ruffles of skin in bright purple and turquoise. I can still see it. After a couple of hours of snorkeling, we rested on the beach until our captains returned. To our astonishment and fright, a hammer-head shark swam right up to the shore, very curious about us. We were quite concerned that it might launch itself upon the sand for a quick snack. The sand cay was tiny, only about 30’ long and 15’ wide, so we had no where to go to escape. After a while, it got bored with us and left, much to our relief. We were later told not to worry, because the sharks are extremely well-fed on the reef with the abundance of fish and larger sea mammals.
After a lovely meal on-board (the Aussies do wonders with a salad plate – juicy mangoes, pineapples, bananas, cold meats and potato salads), we played some cards, relaxed on deck watching the sun go down, and then retired below to our cabins. I don’t remember if I fell asleep or lay awake but, around midnight, I got out of my bunk, and emerged up on deck. Everyone else was asleep and I was by myself amidst the great blackness of the ocean.
I remember my senses coming alive. First my eyes were astounded by the sheer darkness of the sight before me. We were no where near land, so there were no city lights reflecting off the water or lighting the sky. The moon was waxing but not full, and the stars were shining brightly against the blackness of the sky. The stars numbered billions, Carl. There was nothing else around us, no land, no other boats, just the vastness of ocean and sky.
The next sense that became highly atuned was my hearing. I listened intently, but couldn’t hear a thing. I’d never experienced that before. I’ve since heard the astronauts say that, once they were on the moon, the silence was deafening. Now I know what they mean. The void is really loud.
Once I absorbed these new experiences, I became aware of something extraordinary – a heightened sense, an overwhelming awareness. I later heard some people describe this awareness as though they felt someone or something was watching them, possibly even God.
It’s a feeling of connection, to something far bigger and grander than any relationship to another person or place or community. In that moment, I felt my place in the universe. I could certainly see it – the cosmos was close and intimate. I felt at one with the elements: the sea, the sky, the air, the darkness, the stars, the silence, the beauty, the nature, the all. I felt a connection. I felt like I was part of the unbroken whole. And more than that, I felt the consciousness of the elements. The elements were observing me as well, and I could feel their presence, their intelligence. The ocean seemed like a great restless animal.
I sat there, on the deck of that little boat, for about an hour, breathing deeply, absorbing the wonder of it all. The experience was infused at a cellular level. I can still see it, feel it, hear it, and recall it in detail, these 30 years later.
That was my first moment of awakening, of awareness, of something bigger, something conscious and whole. I became aware in that moment, that everything is connected.
Many years later I discovered that the conditions of darkness and silence are the precursors to such a heightened awareness and consciousness. It is these conditions in meditation that create the opening, and invite inspiration as well as solutions to problems.
What I experienced that night, at the age of 22, I thought was an anomaly – something strange and unique. I’d never heard anyone talk of such a feeling or awareness, nor read anything about it anywhere. At that time, I didn’t have the language to describe it, so I kept the experience to myself.
Ross and I continued our travels around Australia, in our faithful kombi, and actually went home after 6 months. Our plans to emigrate did not transpire.
It would be 15 more years before I had my next moment of awakening.
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Posted September 25, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter One
AWARENESS
Awareness of the Self
Everyone has the perfect gift to give to the world – and if each of us is freed up to give that give that is uniquely ours to give, the world will be in total harmony. – Buckminster Fuller
When I reached the end of high school, at age 17, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff. No one had prepared me for this moment. No one had offered guidance or direction. No one ever asked me what I wanted to do or be. No one provided mentoring or coaching to draw out my gifts and talents. I had no idea what to do next. I didn’t know what I had to offer. I had no self awareness.
No one ever mentioned the word university in my family. It wasn’t because my parents weren’t encouraging or thought we couldn’t succeed in higher education, in fact, they were, and still are, wonderful, supportive parents. It’s just that university wasn’t part of their world. There weren’t any conversations about the future. I had never heard the word career. And the term ‘life purpose’ was way out of my range of consciousness. I stood on the edge of the cliff, feeling confused, alone, and scared.
At 17, my only talent was playing pool (billiards). I wasn’t good in school or sports, and didn’t stand out in any particular way. But I was a pool shark. I could hustle all my friends, and I was very proud of this skill. About two weeks after high school finished, it occurred to my mother that I needed a job. Until then, no one had ever mentioned that word to me, either. I had no clue how to get one, how to prepare a resume, who to call or where I should look. My mother asked me what I could do and I said that I could play pool. So that’s were we started. We looked in the yellow pages under billiard sales, and I made my first employment inquiry. I asked if they were hiring and I said I was good at pool and could demonstrate for the customers. The Manager chuckled a bit and said: I’m so sorry, we just hired someone, but good luck. At that point, I had exhausted all my options.
One day shortly afterwards, a friend of my sister came over and said she was attending secretarial school. I realized at that moment that high school had actually taught me a skill. I could type, and I was pretty fast, so perhaps becoming a secretary would suit me. A few weeks later, I enrolled in the Patricia Stevens Career College and Finishing School. For six months, I improved my typing speed and accuracy, learned how to professionally answer an office telephone, learned bookkeeping skills, letter formatting, photocopying, carbon copying (the real thing – no computers then), and even shorthand.
I also learned how to walk with books on my head to keep my posture straight, how to apply make-up moderately for the office, what style of haircut best suited my face shape, how to walk with feet pointed straight forward, and how to conduct myself graciously in social situations. I think I was absent the day they taught dining etiquette. Every Friday afternoon, we had a group dialogue on current world affairs. The purpose was to develop well-rounded young women for professional careers. When I look back, I see that it did provide me with some solid skills that would serve me both personally and professionally.
After graduating from this college, I was hired for my first job as a receptionist for a life insurance company. When I applied, I completed some sort of questionnaire to assess my intelligence and skill set, and was then interviewed by the Manager. When I got home, I immediately sent her a thank you letter, expressing my appreciation for her time as well as my keen interest in the position. A week later, I received a call from her advising me that I had been selected as the successful applicant for the position. She also specifically informed me that I did not score the highest on the questionnaire, nor did I present myself better than the other candidates in the interview, but she was so impressed by my thank you card, that it showed her my initiative, professionalism and gratitude. And this is what won me the job. To this day, I still send a thank you to anyone who presents me with an opportunity, and it works almost every time. Do you know why? Because no one else does it. It sets you apart from the other applicants, puts your name in front of the interviewer again, and creates top-of-mind awareness. It works.
Over a 20 year period, I was a receptionist, a Telex/TWX and Gestetner operator (does anyone remember those ancient technologies?), a bookkeeper, a secretary, and a manager. Office work was all I knew. On some days, I pondered the meaning of life and questioned my happiness sitting in a stifling office, shuffling papers from one side of the desk to the other. But on most days, I sat diligently, keeping my nose down, doing the work, and receiving a paycheque. It fed me. On the good days, I felt like I was doing something worthwhile, supporting the company, the customers and employees, ensuring the papers were completed accurately and doing my best to contribute to the office morale. On the bad days, I watched the clock tick slowly, felt my lethargic body drag through the minutes, and escaped in my mind on my next holiday. Now, having worked with thousands of people, I know how common and sad this is. I think most people have experienced workplace drudgery. It’s work that we do, that isn’t fulfilling, but it provides some security. Unfortunately, that security becomes a prison.
I worked in various offices for 20 years. In every one, it was the people, my co-workers, that brought brightness to my days. I love working with people. Most were kind and generous and fun to be with, and the ones who were grumpy and bullying taught me patience, compassion and how to stand up for myself. So the endless paperwork was made bearable by the people.
Again, office work was all I knew. I fell into it, as they say. I had blinders on. I could see up and down, but I couldn’t see the horizon or the vast landscape that offered limitless opportunities in other professions. I had no awareness that I had talents and gifts and could do something else. I could see a succession of positions from receptionist to secretary to manager. After that it would have been regional manager and then vice-president. But at the mid-altitude of Manager, the rungs on my corporate ladder stopped – quite abruptly.
The office I worked in closed down and everyone in the office was laid off. It turned out to be one of those blessings in disguise, because everyone went on to do something they truly loved.
In fact, two years previous, I had had my fill of office work and the corporate environment, but couldn’t see any alternatives. So I trudged on. When you work in a certain field or organization for a long time, your confidence begins to erode and you doubt your ability to work anywhere else and be of value in any other role. I felt trapped. My office became a cell. The blinders beside my eyes could see no way out. So I did what many others do in times of desperation - I starting asking for divine intervention. I simply looked up at the heavens and said: “Alright, this isn’t working for me anymore. Please provide me with another opportunity – something inspiring, uplifting and fulfilling. I want to do something worthwhile and make a positive difference in the world.”
In 1997, the universe delivered on my request. The office closed and I left the little room with the shuffling papers. I felt free and liberated. I didn’t know which way to turn from there, but the sense of relief and release of stress was exhilarating. It took about three weeks to fully decompress, to stop thinking about the work, and really let it go. At that point, I could see how mundane the work was; in fact, I realized it was draining my energy and robbing my soul. But I didn’t know that at the time. An outside perspective brings heightened awareness. And with heightened awareness comes clearer vision and an open mind.
When I worked in the office, this was all I knew. I didn’t know about a soul’s purpose or a life mission, or reaching goals and striving for my highest potential. However, I was fully versed on the corporation’s mission and goals. But no one told me about creating my own personal mission, discovering my gifts and life purpose, reaching my goals and dreams and honoring my own values. That would come later.
Once I left the office, I had difficulty looking for similar work, because my heart just wasn’t in it. In fact, as I scoured the newspaper for jobs, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I later learned that this was my body and soul telling me that I needed to go in a different direction. But I didn’t know what. I found myself at the edge of the cliff again, feeling confused, alone and scared.
So I started asking myself what I really enjoyed. I began a journey of self-discovery. I started interviewing myself and was surprised to hear the answers. What do I really love to do? What excites me and gives me a feeling of fulfillment? What are my natural talents and gifts? What don’t I want to do any more? I realized that I was spending 90% of my time, sitting in my chair, shuffling papers from one side of the desk to the other, and only 10% of my time was with the people. I realized that this is what I enjoyed the most – the people. I realized something else as well. I realized that I had gained some self awareness. I was starting to ‘know thyself’.
I knew that I enjoyed inspiring people, guiding them, uplifting them and being supportive. I loved helping people set big goals and reach those goals. Helping people in this way brought me joy, happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. I was helping other people and helping myself at the same time. But a couple of months earlier, I had no awareness of this. The frame of my job, kept me inside a rigid view. I couldn’t see beyond it.
When I realized how much I enjoyed inspiring people to reach their goals, I knew I could never go back to the office environment. But didn’t know where to go. Having realized these answers did not lead to a job. What kind of a job could I do that encompassed all of this? Surely, there was no such job.
After several weeks of soul searching and questioning my purpose, my values, and my next step, the answer came to me. Two months after being laid off, a magazine arrived in my mailbox and, on the cover, was an article on Life Coaching. I’d never heard of it before. I was half-way through the article and it hit me like a pan in the face. This is it! This is me! The article talked about inspiring people, drawing out their natural talents and abilities, generating excitement, helping them set big goals and then supporting them in achieving those goals. It was all about deep and reflective conversations and evoking the truth so that the person could see it for themselves. The article described life coaching as a way to help people move forward in life with greater happiness and purpose. This was it. This was my gift.
This was liberating. This was true freedom. With this realization of my passions and talents and what brought me joy, it felt like the skies had parted, and there was a clear message written in the clouds saying: ‘Lorraine, you are meant to be a life coach.’ It was crystal clear. There was no doubt in my mind. This was my calling. And I responded to that calling with an exhuberant “YES!”
Eager to begin my new profession, it dawned on me that I had no idea how to begin. So, I met with the woman who wrote the article to find out how to become a life coach, what credentials I needed and how to attract clients to earn money. It was the beginning of a new adventure and a whole new world. I no longer felt like I was on the edge of a cliff. I felt like I was soaring into the sky. I was excited, ecstatic, and extremely optimistic about my future. Everything fell into place smoothly.
The author of the article encouraged me to meet another life coach who could guide me through the next phase of my life, develop my skills and build a coaching company. I could already feel that my life was very different, in ways that were difficult to articulate. Then a series of events occurred that showed me a new way of being, that was full of grace and ease. I felt like I was being guided by unseen hands.
The first event occurred on my way to meet my new life coach. He gave me directions and his address, but it was an area that I was unfamiliar with. I drove slowly, looking at each house for his number, and realized that I had passed it. It was a fairly busy street, so I told myself that I would turn around at the next road. Well, the next road that I came to was called St. Kilda Avenue. I didn’t know that there was such a road in this city. It was important because I was born in a suburb of Melbourne, Australia, called St. Kilda. After I found the right house, immediately felt a strong connection to my new life coach, it dawned on me that turning around on St. Kilda Road was a metaphor for turning my life around. It was a moment of re-birth.
One week after reading that fateful article, I had my coaching business set up. That was 14 years ago. Discovering my true purpose was my second great moment of awakening. But this time, I stayed awake.
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Posted November 10, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
by Lorraine Sims
CHAPTER ONE
AWARENESS
Awareness of Each Other
We protect what we love
We love what we know
We know what we are taught
- Baba Dioum
Of all the areas of life that we have difficulty changing (career, money, relationships, home, health, higher education, spirituality, etc.), I know for sure, that it is our relationships that we find most challenging.
And it’s not surprising. No one teaches us how to be in a relationship – to be equal in a partnership or within a group; no one shows us how to speak up for ourselves with calmness, dignity and compassion; we don’t have teachers to show us how to resolve disagreements with friends, co-workers and family members, or show us what we can learn about ourselves from our reactions to others. And few of us are taught how to respect ourselves, to have honor and integrity in word and action, and develop a healthy relationship with ourselves, first. But we can’t blame our parents or school teachers for this absence of knowledge and understanding, because no one taught them, either.
This chapter may be difficult for you to read. It deals with some heavy subjects. It may not be cheerful or uplifting, but it will cause you to see others in a different light. It will offer insight about why we are the way we are in our base animal behaviors, and in our highest expressions of humanity.
The purpose of this chapter is to reach into the darkest areas of ourselves, of others, and of society as a whole, and bring those dark places up into the light for release, for healing and for peace. This chapter is about ourselves and our relationships with others. It is about understanding, compassion, apology, healing, reconciliation and forgiveness. It is about our personal enlightenment, and our contribution to the evolution of humankind.
Imagine five children growing up in an abusive home where one parent beats the other as well as the children. Each child in the same home can grow up with completely different imprinting and reactionary behaviors. But until their awareness is heightened, most will know their behavior as the norm.
One child may grow up to copy the violent behaviors he/she observed, seeing this as the norm. A second child may grow up highly protective of others, feeling a need to compensate for earlier fear and missed opportunities to protect his/her siblings.
A third child may grow up very submissive, wanting to please others to prevent any kind of upset and violence. A fourth child may be completely unresponsive to others, withdrawing from society, and the harm that was inflicted in youth. A fifth child could develop extreme neediness, having missed out on expressions of love and caring. If there were a sixth and seventh child, they could grow up with completely different behaviors and responses, from bullying to developing illnesses.
Each individual will internalize the traumatic experience in a different way, each trying to cope with the memories as well as the physical and emotional scars that were ingrained at a cellular level. These internal coping mechanisms will be outwardly expressed as reactionary behaviors. In an effort to overcome neglect, to get attention and be noticed, more extreme behaviors can include explosives and violent crimes.
Each grown up child will be in response mode, trying to counter or suppress the horrors of youth in order to cope, day to day. The human condition is a master at survival. However, at some point in their lives, the grown up children, now adults, may become aware of their reactionary behaviors and see that these behaviors no longer serve them. In the beginning, their individual methods would have kept them safe from harm, and this was necessary for survival. But in mid-adulthood, (late 20’s to late 30’s) an awareness may rise within them, that they are unhappy. They will see that they have had a lifetime of difficult relationships, from being too needy, to submissive, too violent, too withdrawn or too protective, and these behaviors have pushed people away. But if they have the courage and support to look beyond this awareness, they will see that this is not their fault, that they were doing the best they could, and didn’t know how to be any other way. At this point they can choose, because they don’t want their past to control their present and future.
All the above tragic circumstances have been lived by people I care about, and each has become aware of the root causes of their behaviors with the emotional support and highly-skilled techniques of counselors and psychologists. They have expressed to me how this awareness and acknowledgement shone a light on their dark memories and began the process of healing and progress.
At and this point, they can choose to make changes, to be happy, and to stop being victims.
But this awareness does not seem to find them all, and this is sad, as those who remain oblivious to their impact on others will continue the cycle of behavior throughout their lives and it will be infused in their children and so on. But they don’t know this. This knowledge and self-awareness has not reached them.
But it’s not their fault that they did not come into contact with this insight. It is, in fact, the responsibility of all of us, to look out for each other, to protect our youth, to nurture our children, and to reach out to those in pain who are reacting with imploding or exploding behaviors. Nor is it the fault of the abusive parent who instilled within his/her children the reactionary behaviors. For, sadly, this parent was once a child too, and experienced the same horrors in youth, that now his/her children endure. This parent was once the child who learned the behavior of violence as the norm. This behavior was learned and imprinted generations ago.
And it must also be said that our behaviors are shaped not only by abusive or neglectful childhoods, we can also experience the negative results from too much love, smothering with kindness, over-protectiveness, or too much independence. But in most cases, parents are doing the best that they can with the resources they have. They learned their parenting skills from their parents, and they may not have been good role models to begin with. Providing a safe physical environment is one thing, and providing a healthy emotional home is quite another.
We are extremely fortunate, that in the last 30 years, there has been a wonderful surge of therapeutic methods to help people restore their wellness and go on to create happy and healthy lives. For most of our grandparents and parents, however, there was no awareness of this, and few people had access to counselors or therapists. There was no one to teach them that their harmful repetitive behaviors had devastating affects on their children and grandchildren, but could be overcome.
We must look to the beginning, and know that every child is born pure and innocent. It is our environment of violence or neglect or abuse, that teaches us how to be in this world and shapes us into our adult selves. That first child started out as a gentle human being, but was damaged by a series of violent encounters.
Therefore, with greater insight, understanding and compassion we can refrain from being judgmental of those who perpetrate against us, for they did not have the love and support they needed to be happy and fulfilled and reach their highest potential.
We tend to judge what we see on the outside, on the surface, without any regard for what that person has been through. By learning about their life experiences, or even considering what they may have endured, we find understanding and compassion. And this is the path to reconciliation and growth, as individuals and as a society.
In the late 1990’s I taught at a counseling and coaching college and learned of a program within the prisons call the Victim/Offender Reconciliation program. Through counseling, and face-to-face dialogue, the victims reconcile with the inmates to bring them both to a place of closure and, often, forgiveness. The purpose is to achieve resolution for both parties, with the results of healing, trauma recovery and closure. When I first heard of this, I was astounded. I had no idea that such a thing was possible, or even that someone was helping people achieve this. These were people who had been raped, or had family members killed, and were ready to forgive their attackers and the murderers, so that they could release the anger, hatred and fear, and move forward with their lives. This, obviously took a long time, and could only occur if the victim was ready to release their constrained emotions and move on. They became aware that by continuing to direct their anger at the rapist or murderer, they were hanging onto the emotional terror and unconsciously maintaining the frightening relationship. By addressing the facts and feelings, and focusing on accountability, releasing shame, reducing anxiety, gaining answers and truth-telling, they were able to release the fear and horror that kept the two inextricably tied.
And again, let us look at how that violent behavior grew within those individuals. It did not come out of thin air. It came from a dark past. In almost all cases, the violent offenders had previously been victims themselves. Through revealing their own horrors of youth, the rapist and the victim became healed, and compassion was expressed. Once a person becomes aware of the connection between their origins and current behaviors, that person has the power to over-ride the influence of their youth and their reactionary behaviors. And this is a turning point in life for the individual.
The above describes individual acts of apology, compassion, forgiveness, and healing. On a much larger scale, these higher human graces are occurring in whole societies and nations around the world.
In Rwanda, an extraordinary environment of healing and reconciliation is occurring, where 15 years earlier, a horrific mass murder occurred, in the name of civil war. In 100 days, 800,000 people were macheteed and butchered to death, while the world looked the other way. In a violent and bloody rage, people of different races attacked one another, killing men, women and children. Now, in the lingering trauma and aftermath, the people of all races, gather together in stadiums, and on the grass in their communities, to bear witness to the atrocities. They gather to hear the accounts of those who murdered their families and neighbours. They come to listen to the confessions and horror stories of kill or be killed, of slavery, abductions, child soldiers and rape. And they share in their common distress and desperation caused by poverty, disease, struggles for food and water, and basic human rights. They come to learn of the frightening circumstances that led to their bloody actions, and they come to hear of their remorse, to receive apology, and to forgive, to be free of the physical and emotional wounds.
In 1996, the process of criminal trials began to bring to justice those who perpetrated the atrocities. After 10 years of court proceedings, exhorbitant costs, and overflowing prisons, it became apparent that it would take 110 years to complete the trials, and another method of justice was required. The gatherings, or tribunals are called Gacaca, which means Justice on the Grass, a traditional form of community justice. Gacaca promotes peace, harmony and reconciliation through the process of truth-telling, rather than punishment. The people come together in the same space to work through the history of their suffering so the country can heal and move on.
In 2008 the Canadian government formally apologized to the people of the First Nations who suffered horrible childhood experiences at the hand of the caucasian government. In the early 1900’s, the government ordered the removal of aboriginal children from their families and homes, to be reformed and assimilated in “Residential Schools”. The children were stolen from their families, torn from their language and culture, forced to learn English and convert to Christianity and, in many cases, were beaten and raped by their teachers and caretakers. This continued for almost 40 years in 130 schools across the country, and affected 150,000 children, 87,000 of whom survive today. It took almost 100 years for the government to apologize and to accept responsibility for the sins of their fathers. Many are unable to accept the apology, while others have chosen the words: “I’m sorry”, as a first step towards healing.
At the counseling and coaching college, I met a wonderful woman of First Nations decent, who had chosen to devote her life to helping her people heal from the horrors of the Residential Schools. She told me that the abuse that the children experienced in the schools had a horrific ripple effect within their families and communities. It began a cycle of physical and sexual abuse as well as alcoholism and suicide that continues today. She said, up until the horrors of the Residential School system, there was no abuse amongst the aboriginal peoples.
In South Africa, almost 30 years after the abolishment of aparthied, the people remain separated. Archbishop Desmond Tutu has created the Truth and Reconciliation Commission to guide the people of his country from repression to healing. Through this process, any citizen ready to reveal the truth about their participation in the atrocities of South Africa’s dark past, is offered amnesty. The result has been an extraordinary account of brutal inhumanity, but also of the great human capacity to forgive.
These individual and national acts of apology, compassion, forgiveness and reconciliation are, to me, a positive sign of a revolution that is occurring throughout the world. It is an outward demonstration of our capacity as human beings to delve deep into the darkness and bring our individual and collective pain to the light to be released and set free.
In many places around the world, people still struggle for such freedom. During WWII in Asia, young women were abducted from their families and forced to provide ‘comfort’ for the soldiers traumatized by war. Anyone who has been raped, or knows someone who has been raped, knows how the horror affects the life of the victim. The fear and horror are always close by in memory and fearful behaviors. The physical abuse may be over, but the mental trauma continues. The women were confined and raped for years while the war waged on. They were called “Comfort Women”. Between 1928 and 1935, 200,000 young women from Japan, Korea, China the Philippines and Burma, between the ages of 8 and 18, were forced into sex slavery by the Japanese Imperial Army. Today, some of the surviving women live together just outside Tokyo, supporting each other and caring for each other, into their 70’s and 80’s. Once a month, they travel to the capital to protest to the government, their brutal treatment and to demand acknowledgement and apology. To this day, the Japanese government has yet to hear them, meet with them, acknowledge them, or apologize and admit to this war crime against their country’s own daughters.
A friend of mine went to visit these courageous women a few years ago, to hear their stories, to share their pain, to offer her apology on behalf of the Japanese people, and to encourage their endeavours. The women were grateful for her kindness and support.
We all have a right to be happy, healthy and live up to our full potential. We need each other for love and protection, for nurturing and compassion, as these are the conditions necessary for growth and the advancement of humanity. We still have a long way to go, but these experiences of individual and national healing are signs of a new and silent revolution – a new and heightened consciousness.
Through these acts of compassion and understanding, we are acknowledging that we are all one. We are learning not to judge what we see on the surface. We are becoming aware that we are all human. We all need to be needed, to love and be loved. We all have hardships and sorrows, fears and worries, and hopes and dreams for a better life. We all want peace and justice, and we all want a safe and loving world for our children. In order to achieve this, we must care for one another. We must protect everyone’s rights, love what we don’t understand, and seek to know more than we are taught.
I’d like to end this excerpt with the last words from Lt. General Romeo Dallaire’s book, ‘Shake Hands with the Devil’. This book is his account of the bloody massacre that he witnessed and was ill-equipped to prevent in Rwanda in 1994. Dallaire is Canadian, and was the leader of the failed U.N. attempt to stop the brutal slaughter of 800,000 Rwandans.
“We have lived through centuries of enlightenment, reason, revolution, industrialization, and globalization. No matter how idealistic the aim sounds, this new century must become the Century of Humanity, when we as human beings rise above race, creed, colour, religion and national self-interest and put the good of humanity above the good of our own tribe. For the sake of the children and of our future.”
_____________________________
Posted November 25, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
Chapter One
AWARENESS
Awareness of our Physical Environment
The conflict over our attitudes and the way we treat the land goes back a long way. In 1854, U.S. President Franklin Pierce made an offer for a large area of Indian land and promised a ‘reservation’ for the Indian people. The reply of Chief Seattle, published here in full, has been described as one of the most beautiful and profound statements on the environment ever made.
“How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?
Every part of this earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and experience of my people. The sap which courses through the trees carries the memory of the red man.
The white man’s dead forget the country of their birth when they go walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters, the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and man – all belong to the same family.
So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land, he asks much of us. The Great Chief sends word that he will reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably to ourselves. He will be our father and we will be his children. So we will consider your offer to buy our land. But it will not be easy. For the land is sacred to us.
The shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you our land, you must remember that it is sacred and that each ghostly reflection in the clear water of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water’s murmur is the voice of my father’s father.
The rivers are our brothers, they quench our thirst. The rivers carry our canoes, and feed our children. If we sell you our land, you must remember to teach your children that the rivers are our brothers, and yours, and you must henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.
We know that the white man does not understand our ways. One portion of the land is the same to him as the next, for he is a stranger who comes in the night and takes from the land whatever he needs. The earth is not his brother, but his enemy, and when he has conquered it, he moves on.
He leaves his father’s grave behind and he does not care. His father’s grave and his children’s birthright are forgotten. He treats his mother, the earth, and his brother, the sky as things to be bought, plundered, sold like sheep or bright beads. His appetite will devour the earth and leave behind only desert.
There is no quiet place in the white man’s cities. No place to hear the unfurling of leaves in the spring or the rustle of an insect’s wings. But perhaps it is because I am a savage and do not understand. The clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to like if man can not hear the cry of the whippoorwill or the argument of the frogs around a pond at night? I am a red man and do not understand. The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of a pond, and the smell of the wind itself cleansed by a midday rain, or scented with the pinion pine.
The air is precious to the red man, for all things share the same breath. The white man does not seem to notice the air he breathes. Like a man dying for many days, he is numb to the stench. But if we sell you our land, you must remember the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all life it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh. And if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred as a place where even the white man can to go taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow’s flowers.
So we consider your offer to buy our land. If we decide to accept, I will make one condition: the white man must treat the beasts of the land as his brothers.
I am a savage and do not understand any other way. I have seen the rotting buffaloes on the prairie, left by the white man who shot them from a passing train. I am a savage and do not understand how the smoking iron horse can be more important than the buffalo that we kill only to stay alive.
What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts are gone, man would die from a great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected. You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is the ashes of our grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin. Teach your children what we have taught our children – that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.
Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
Even the white man, whose God walks and talks with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We shall see. One thing we do know, which the white man may one day discover, our God is the same God. You may think now that you own Him as you wish to own our land, but you cannot. He is the God of man, and His compassion is equal for the red man and the white. The earth is precious to Him, and to harm the earth, is to heap contempt on its Creator. The whites too, shall pass; perhaps sooner than all the other tribes. Contaminate your bed and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.
But in your perishing you will shine brightly, fired by the strength of God who brought you to this land and for some special purpose gave you dominion over the land and over the red man. That destiny is a mystery to us, for we do not understand. When the buffalo are all slaughtered, the wild horse are tamed, the sacred corners of the forest heavy with the scent of many men, and when the view of the ripe hills blotted by talking wires. Where is the thicket? Gone. Where is the eagle? Gone. The end of living and the beginning of survival.”
- Chief Seattle, 1854.
When I was 11 years old, I thought I was going to die – literally. I heard a news report that a nuclear bomb was to be tested on an island off the coast of Alaska and the resulting shock would cause a tidal wave that would flood Vancouver and drown everyone living here. I was frightened to death.
I’d never come so close to my own mortality before. The news reports began weeks in advance of the upcoming explosion, so by the time the day arrived, I was beside myself with terror.
I remember thinking that I didn’t want to just sit and wait for it, I’d rather be doing something to take my mind off my inevitable drowning. So I decided to go and see a movie at the nearby theatre. According to the scientists, the tidal wave would reach Vancouver at about 2:00 p.m.. At 1:30 p.m., I sat in the dark theatre, trembling, awaiting my demise, listening intently for the thundering sound of crashing water. 2:00 p.m. passed, 2:15, 2:30 and 3:00 p.m. Nothing happened. At 3:15 the movie ended, and I left the theatre and emerged into the daylight.
To my astonishment, the world was as it had been 2 hours earlier. Perhaps the scientists had miscalculated, and the tidal wave was taking longer to reach us.
When I got home, I went into my room and turned on my transistor radio to listen for any news of the bomb and the tidal wave. But I heard nothing.
The next day at school, my grade 6 teacher told us about a group of people from Vancouver, who were so outraged by the bomb testing, that they had rented a small boat weeks earlier and traveled up the west coast to the bomb site to try to stop it. Others from this same group had been relentlessly calling the Whitehouse to get a meeting with U.S. President Nixon who had authorized this bomb test, to implore him to cancel the test. Their requests for a meeting had been denied.
I was fascinated by this courageous group of people. This was the first time I had any awareness that ordinary citizens had the power to stand up and say no to a government decision. I was amazed that these people had the courage to stand up to the U.S. government, and actually come into close proximity to a nuclear bomb blast. And they were doing it not only for the protection of the people living on the west coast of Canada and Alaska, but for all of humanity as it endangered world peace and threatened the ecological balance of our environment.
This small group of people from Vancouver later came to call themselves Greenpeace.
The knowledge of these 20 people and their determination had a life-changing affect on me.
At the age of 11, I learned many important lessons from this small group of courageous people:
- that we do not have to accept the threats of war and environmental degradation from anyone;
- that our world leaders can make asinine and dangerous decisions;
- that we all have a right to stand up and be heard and influence decisions that affect us all;
- that we all have a responsibility to protect our environment and all life within it;
- and we all have a right to live in peace with clean and pure natural resources.
On Saturday morning, November 6, 1971, the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission detonated a 5.2 megaton hydrogen bomb 5,875 feet below the surface of Amchitka Island, off the coast of Alaska. ‘The blast created a molten cavern inside the rock, fissured the volcanic substrate, and blew a mile-wide crater on the surface that filled with water, later named Cannikin Lake. Radioactive krypton gas leaked from the fissured rock. Military buildings and trailers crumpled, roads collapsed, and the fault line lifted 3 feet across 14 acres of tundra. Six natural lakes drained dry. Forty thousand cubic metres of granite crumbled from shoreline cliffs. The shock wave registered 7.2 on the Richter scale, the largest human-made earth tremor in history. As with earlier blasts, the shock instantly killed seabirds on the rocks and split the skulls of thousands of sea otters.’ (Rex Weyler, Greenpeace, the Inside Story).
The tidal wave never came.
Looking back on this horrific moment in my life, not to mention the lives of everyone that this nuclear bomb blast affected, it occurs to me that not once did I hear anyone mention the terror and emotional impact this event had on the children. The news reports were all very matter-of-fact, my teacher was fascinated by the science of it all, and my parents didn’t seem to have any knowledge of it at all, at least they didn’t mention it. This was probably the first time I knew real fear, but there was no one to ease my concerns. I felt very frightened and alone.
I have immense gratitude to those who, in 1971, gave meaning to the word activism. Again, this was my first introduction to a world of political decisions, civil protest, and human rights. I was 11 years old and, today, 40 years later, I remain a loyal member and supporter of the Greenpeace mission to protect the environment and all life on earth. It began with a group of about 20 people, talking around a kitchen table, in a home in Vancouver, attempting to stop a nuclear bomb, and now has grown into an international organization that seeks to protect the environment of the whole world.
Greenpeace has been instrumental in saving thousands of acres of British Columbia’s pristine forests from being clearcut. They have pressured large corporations like Kimberly Clark (Scott paper towels, Purex toilet paper, Kotex napkins), to stop felling ancient trees for their paper products, and have gained public support to ban whale fishing around the world. That’s an astounding record, just to name a few achievements. Greenpeace has also been the inspiration for countless organizations to rise up and initiate action for human rights, medical care, education, peace and justice.
I think the mission and activities of Greenpeace are remarkable. The organization gives voice and action for the protection of the planet, and also protects us from our own self-destruction. Greenpeace has heightened our awareness to the sacred balance of nature, and to the devastating impact that humans have upon it.
Although I didn’t voice my concerns about the nuclear bomb when I was 11, our youth today are bravely speaking out and getting a lot of attention.
The Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro in 1992 was a significant moment in time, for three extraordinary reasons:
Firstly, it was the first time that the United Nations had convened a conference specifically to address the urgent problems of environmental protection, including poisonous waste, alternatives to fossil fuels and our growing scarcity of water. 172 governments were represented there, including 108 heads of state who signed the Convention on Biodiversity and the Convention on Climate Change, which led to the Kyoto Accord.
Secondly, it was the first time that the United Nations had invited the general public to speak to the assembly of nations. This was a giant leap forward for, what U.N. Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali later called, the ‘Super Power of Civil Society’.
Thirdly, a 12-year old child commanded the podium for 8 minutes and addressed the world leaders with a stern plea to stop the systematic destruction of the planet, and protect the earth’s environment. She delivered such a moving speech, that it still has profound power today. This child was Severn Cullis-Suzuki, daughter of environmental researchers and activists, Dr. Tara Cullis and Dr. David Suzuki.
Severn’s graphic speech about cancerous fish, the hole in the ozone layer, and fighting for her future can be seen on YouTube, and I invite you now to watch, listen and learn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZsDliXzyAY.html
_________________________________
Posted August 25, 2011
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter 1
Awareness
Communication in Relationships
Truth is the highest form of communication.
The presence of truth in effective communication contributes to a far greater humanity.
The truth is that people have no idea how their words and behaviors affect other people, until you tell them.
Of all the areas of life in which my clients ask for help, communication in relationships seems to be the most challenging. I think this is because we are not properly taught how to communicate effectively. We don’t learn it in school, our parents couldn’t teach us because no one taught them, and we don’t learn it from our friends or the media.
As a result, we often find that our words are misinterpreted or misunderstood. How many times have you given instructions to someone or made a request, only to find that a miscommunication has occurred.
Effective communication is a skill that can be taught. I learned an effective procedure from my mentor many years ago, and then received advanced skills from my own coach. I am happy to pass on this skill and step by step procedure to you so you can be truly heard and have your requests honored.
To begin, here are some simple rules:
RULES OF COMMUNICATION:
1. Always speak with calmness, politeness and respect.
2. When people talk about you, they are actually talking about themselves.
3. In communicating your needs, always speak clearly, openly and honestly.
4. It's not what you say; it's how you say it.
These rules seem simple enough but, in reality, are hard to get to with so many obstacles in the way:
1. We tell ourselves ‘we don’t like confrontation’.
2. We worry about reprisals and fear greater harm or unhappiness.
3. People would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship at all. This stems from our biggest fear of separation.
People hold themselves back from communicating any kind of concern to another person because they anticipate a negative a response. This is because our minds tend to default to the negative. When we project a scenario or potential outcome of an action (i.e. tell someone that their behaviors have a negative impact on you), we think they will not like us anymore or will not talk to us and so the relationships will worsen. Our minds have a habit of simulating scenarios that work against us.
People would rather tolerate an unhealthy relationship rather than have no relationship at all. This is because our worst fear is separation and loneliness. It stems from the fact that we are all connected – all one – all part of the same whole. Separation from what connects us is our deepest fear. We fear loneliness (separation from love), we fear poverty (separation from basic needs as well as society), we fear death (separation from life and loved ones), we fear humiliation (separation from dignity and respect), and we fear success (separation from our peers).
This fear of separation can keep us locked in a bad relationship because we can’t see any way out.
However, this negative scenario projection into our fears, is just one possibility, one perspective, but we see it as the only perspective, and this fear stops us from taking any action to resolve the situation.
As R. Michael Fisher describes it, we look at things through the lens of fear, rather than seeing that fear is just one view.
To overcome this, we can ask ourselves, what other possible outcomes can there be? i.e. my friend will apologize, not realizing he had hurt my feelings; my boss will say she misunderstood my goals because I had never expressed them before; my mother will express that she was unaware that her behaviors felt like control and she will change her words and actions.
Having offered these different scenarios as possible outcomes, our minds can still play tricks on us and convince us that only the negative will come about. And we will cower from the conversations, labeling them ‘confrontations’.
Only with the courage to approach the other person, with a rehearsed conversation (clearly expressing how you feel, not what the other person is doing wrong), will you be privy to the results that will be far beyond anything you can imagine. This is one of the wonderful gifts that come from changing your own views and behaviors. Only with this experimentation will you realize the benefits and results. (To muster courage, acknowledge your past accomplishments. You have many.)
And there is an added bonus. Once you have had one conversation it releases a heavy burden and makes you feel lighter. It clears your mind and your soul and increases your happiness. It compounds your understanding of communication and relationships and incurs greater courage and ease for the next conversation.
So, let’s look at some guidelines for creating positive relationships:
First of all, we all strive to be happy, and this happiness comes from our harmonious relationships with others.
Secondly, you cannot change anyone else’s behavior; you can only change your own. However, by changing your own behavior, others have to change in response.
Once you decide that you want to improve a relationship with someone, though communication, the intent must come from goodness. If the source is anger, revenge, harm or blame, no good can come of it.
I have observed this communication method work in wonderful and surprising ways. Many of my clients have said that this step by step approach has had a very positive impact on their lives. I’ve helped people talk to their bosses about their work and receive raises, promotions and greater challenges. Clients have talked to their spouses and siblings about upsetting comments and behaviors which have stopped, others have spoken to parents about controlling issues and been released, and many have been honest with themselves about changing their own behaviors. (When we learn a new skill, we learn so much about ourselves).
This is a very big life shift - a whole new way of being.
Here is a step by step lesson in how to communicate with another person with whom you want a better relationship:
1. Let the other person know that you would like to talk to them about something that is very important to you. This will set the tone and give the conversation the respect it requires. It will also prepare the other person for an important conversation. The conversation must be arranged for a neutral place, and at a time separate from the when the concern arises, otherwise there will be too much emotional intensity for any positive change to come from addressing the topic.
2. Schedule a day and time that is suitable for you both. If she/he asks what it is about, just say that you will tell them when you meet and it is very important.
3. Script out your conversation. Be very clear about what you wish to express and clarify what change you would like to see to create a better relationship. In the conversation there can be no blaming, no hurtful comments, no swearing, etc. You must present yourself with maturity and dignity.
Key: Focus on how you feel, not what the other person has done wrong. If you tell someone they have done something wrong, they will get defensive, and this is not conducive to a positive conversation and desired outcome.
Script example: John, thank you for meeting with me. I really appreciate your time and attention. I would like to talk to you about something that is very important to me and I would appreciate it if you would not speak, just listen until I am finished. Can you do this for me please? Thank you.
I have been feeling very uncomfortable when you make comments about my (intelligence, career, school grades, weight, friends, home, etc). Last week you said to me “I think you should give up on that career, because you won’t succeed anyway.”
This makes me feel very sad and makes me think that you don’t have faith in my abilities.
Also, 2 weeks ago, you said to me: “You are being stupid, if you think I don’t care.”
(Give clear and specific examples).
I feel like you discredit my feelings, and you don’t appreciate or respect me”.
I do not like these comments. They feel hurtful and undermining, and I need you to stop. Can you do this for me, please?
Also, I have a request. I would like to hear you encourage me towards my goals and say kind things to me and about me.
Can you do this for me, please? Thank you.
4. Rehearse your conversation many times, in the mirror, with a friend, etc. Envision a positive outcome to the conversation, and a much closer relationship.
5. Meet face to face with the individual and express clearly, calmly, politely, maturely and respectfully:
(a) your concern
(b) how her/his comments/behaviors make you feel
(c) and what you request for positive change.
6. Be prepared for the other person to express surprise, being unaware of how their comments affect you, being apologetic, belittling the importance to you, or denial of their participation in your concern. Allow the other person a chance to express themselves. (Listening, in itself, is another skill that can be highly developed to enhance communication and resolve problems.)
7. You do not have to agree with or accept what the other person has to say. But listen. The important thing is that you express your concern and ask that it stop. The response is not as important.
8. If they want more time to think about your concern and request, give the other person a week to respond.
9. Don’t expect a change right away. Sometimes a positive result will come immediately, but usually, it takes about 48 hours.
10. Within a week, you will observe some positive changes in the other person’s behavior and or comments. When this happens, it is important to acknowledge it and say thank you.
11. If, by small chance, the other person is unwilling to acknowledge your concern or honor your request, then it is time to release that relationship, because there are many other people who will appreciate and respect you.
REPEAT NOTE: You cannot change anyone else’s behavior; you can only change your own. However, in changing your own behavior, others must change in response.
In this step by step approach, you are initiating the change within yourself by communicating your truth, your feelings, and asking for change.
With the first conversation accomplished, you will feel an extraordinary sense of empowerment, lightness, glee, and confidence. Congratulations.
Truth is the highest form of communication.
The presence of truth in effective communication contributes to a far greater humanity.
The truth is that people have no idea how their words and behaviors affect other people, until you tell them.
I invite your questions and comments.
Sincerely,
Lorraine Sims
__________________________________________________
Posted September 25, 2011
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter 10
Vocation
Some people are gifted with their hands and can produce marvelous creations in their capacity as carpenters, artists, or builders. Others have a kind heart, are compassionate, understanding, or are special peacemakers; others, again, are humorous and bring joy into our lives. We have all met individuals who are gifted in science or sports, have great organizational skills or a healing touch. And, of course, some people are very talented at making money. Indeed, even the most physically or mentally challenged person teaches all of us about the value and worth of human life.
I think God, in fact, played a trick on us. He gave each and every person special talents or gifts, but he made no one gifted in all areas. Collectively, we have all it takes to create a just and peaceful world, but we must work together and share our talents. We all need one another to find happiness within ourselves and within the world.
– Craig Kielburger, Founder of Free the Children, from Architects of Peace
The most exciting aspect of my work is helping people discover and fulfill their ultimate purpose in life. This greater purpose has a spiritually-uplifting power, and connects us to something much bigger than ourselves.
We have all been designed for an important purpose. Each individual’s purpose is like a piece of a giant jig saw puzzle, and every one of us is an integral part, essential to the whole picture. By expressing our natural talents and gifts, we fulfill our purpose and, thereby, contribute to a higher ideal – a world of peace and happiness.
I have learned that everyone’s gift is different, but every one has equal value. You have, within you, a combination of talents, abilities, and passions that form your unique gift. No one else in the world has the same gift as you. It is yours to express and share with others. When you do this, it brings you happiness and fulfillment, and also contributes to the wellbeing and success of others, in addition to the enrichment of the world.
Discovering your gift can take but an hour and spark new life into you. Fulfilling your purpose can take decades, but will make your journey lighter and much more enjoyable.
You came into this world with a natural gift and it began to show up when you were very young.
Give me the boy until he is 7, and I will give you the man.
Although this saying is gender-biased, it points to the awareness that our adult purpose is evident in our childhood behavoirs.
When a natural talent is observed, some children are encouraged and guided to develop their natural gifts for dancing, sports, building, discovering, organizing, teaching, or healing. Others are pulled away from their talents due to family pressures, obligations, or emergency situations. But the gifts are still there. They may be suppressed, but they exist embedded in each individual.
Many people come to me because they feel unfulfilled or disconnected from their true selves, doing work that it out of alignment with their passions. This can lead to depression, illness, difficulty in relationships, and many other problems. They feel stuck but want to move forward in life and reach their highest potential. They know they have so much more to contribute, but aren’t sure what that is, or how to realize it.
It is exciting for them and me to discover their higher purpose and draw it to the surface. Once this occurs, the individual feels a sense of inner knowing, of belonging and sees the possibilities that they couldn’t see before. This leads to greater happiness, health and a strong desire to step into their higher selves to fulfill the purpose they were designed for.
What I speak of is more than a profession, it’s a calling.
Your calling is not a job or anything that already exists. Your calling is your own, individual, unique self-actualization. This does not exist in the world yet – your duty is to create it from within yourself.
You may not know where to begin, but your inner guidance will tell you. What have you always loved doing since you were a child? When you do it, you lose track of time, you feel fulfilled and at peace. What are your natural talents and abilities that bring you happiness and contentment?
As with all presents, your gift has to be unwrapped. Instead of being concealed by paper, our gifts are wrapped up and sometimes hidden deep within us. They are often buried under fears of failure and criticism, fear of other people’s expectations, unidentified unmet needs, worries, and a multitude of other pressures. Once we begin understanding and relieving these pressures, we uncover our gift.
Many people spend a lifetime searching for it, tending to look outside themselves. But you cannot find it “out there.” Your gift is within you, always showing you signs, in those moments of enjoyment when you lose all sense of time, you feel uplifted and you feel a deep sense of fulfillment. This is your gift shining through.
When you take the time to look deep within yourself to discover your gift (and here is the amazing part), it will be presented to you. Once you uncover your gift, you will receive confirmation from the outside. This could be a friend observing you how good you are at something, or an exciting new opportunity is presented to you to do the work that you love, or it can be an article you read expressing a need for global change.
After I discovered my gift for coaching, I suddenly began attracting people into my life who needed guidance changing careers, or fulfilling their big goals and dreams. Once you have uncovered your gift, you will be on the road to fulfillment, happiness, and success. It is your wonderful contribution to the world and your duty to share it with others.
You have to do what you love, share your gifts, and be who you are in all your glory. Why would you settle for anything less? The world expects you to give your best. You have been blessed with extraordinary talents, unique gifts and a responsibility to share them. Once you change direction and step into who you really are, you will find that opportunities appear to support you. They have always been there but you just couldn’t see them, because you weren’t ready to accept them.
Once you get on track, and pursue what brings you bliss, you find the opportunities present themselves to you, and only you, as a way of confirming your new life direction. People, money, resources, whatever you need, become available to keep you moving forward in alignment with your highest purpose.
When you follow your bliss,
you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while, waiting for you.
And the life that you ought to be living
is the one you are living.
When you follow your bliss,
doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors,
and where there wouldn’t be doors for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell, author
Throughout our lives, we find ourselves in jobs and careers and, ultimately, our vocation. Each of these words has a distinct meaning.
A job is defined as a task, chore or duty. A job is often what you fall into. You may or may not enjoy it, but it is a means of earning money, A job does not provide many opportunities for advancement.
Career, comes from the French word, carriere, which means 'life path'. A career often spans many decades and offers a progression of positions and an increase in earnings.
But your life is bigger than that.
Vocation is my favorite word because it connects us with our highest purpose and the fulfillment of our dreams.
Vocation, comes from the Latin word, ‘vocatio’, which means 'little voice' or 'the calling'.
My experience has shown that our 'little voice' is hard to hear above the droning of city noises, computers, t.v.'s, iPods, and the loud voices of others (telling us what we should or shouldn't do). In order to truly hear our 'little voice' and understand our calling, we must be surrounded by silence, and listen intently to what our inner guidance is telling us. It is always there, we just have to turn down the outside noises, and turn up the inner volume. When you hear the voice, you may be quite surprised, but there is wisdom in it. Pay attention to it. You may be called to heal, to lead, to speak, to build, to discover, to perform or to create. And the details will come, once you acknowledge and accept the inner guidance.
Perhaps you have already heard your little voice, but disregarded it, finding 'logical' reasons to disbelieve, i.e. "I can’t do that; I don't have the right education; I don't have enough money; I’m not tall enough; No one will pay me for that; I don’t know the right people, It’s not very important,", etc. I’ve heard them all. And these louder voices keep us safe from risk, but in a velvet rut.
I know for sure that, everything you need to respond to your 'calling' is already within you. If you don’t think so, this is the reason. You have to look for the evidence that supports you and shows you how your past experiences (the good, the bad, and the ugly), have been necessary to give you the tools and wisdom to proceed.
Another, more poetic definition of 'vocation’ is 'where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need'
I particularly like this definition because it reinforces our inner-most desire to contribute to the betterment of humanity. And this brings us to a greater need. The world is calling out to you to participate in creating a just and peaceful world. We will achieve this when we live up to our full potential. The phenomenon of synergy occurs with the new connections of people and resources. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole, because the interactions create new discoveries and material realities. Non of these can be predicted.
You choose a job, a career, a trade or profession, but your calling chooses you. Your calling refers to your higher purpose. You have been designed specifically to participate and contribute to the great unfolding of the world. You have been called to contribute to the betterment of the world, by responding to your calling.
With more and more people heeding their calling, then another phenomenon will occur called critical mass or the tipping point. This is when a shift occurs and it becomes the norm to follow your heart, share your talents, and do what you love. We have a responsibility be courageous, make a positive change, and respond to our calling now, so that it becomes the norm for our children.
I've seen hundreds of people change their jobs and their careers to respond to their higher calling. This alignment brings good health, prosperity, enriched relationships, and a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment.
The purpose of this book is to inspire you and challenge you to rise up and change the world, and stand up for others, so that, together, our humanity reaches its highest and noblest purpose: A world in which every man, woman and child feels love, safety, belonging, happiness and the fulfillment of their wildest dreams.
Each of us has a right and a responsibility to contribute our talents to shape a far greater future.
I encourage you to be quiet, listen, and heed your calling. This is an opportunity to use your gifts for the highest good.
__________________________________________________
Coming soon:
Awareness of our Social Systems
- Government
- Schools
- Economic model
- T.V.
- Food Production
- Health
- Corporate Influence
- Military
Awareness of our Physical Environment
- Greenpeace
- Severn Cullis-Suzuki
- Chief Seattle
- Rachel Carson
- Spaceship Earth
Awareness of our Invisible Environment
- Energy and Consciousness
Awareness of the Universe
- Carl Sagan
- Nasa
- Harmony and Peace
CHAPTER TWO
Acknowledgement
CHAPTER THREE
Outside Logical Thinking
- Mother Therese
- Susan George
- Walt Disney
- Noam Chomsky
CHAPTER FOUR
Vision
CHAPTER FIVE
Action
CHAPTER SIX
Alignment
CHAPTER SEVEN
Measurement
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Super Power of Civil Society
- Boutros Boutros-Ghali
- Invastion of Iraq
- International Peace Movement
- The People of Canada and Prime Minister Jean Cretien
CHAPTER NINE
Contradictions Do Not Exist
- Ayn Rand
- The Alchemist
CHAPTER TEN
Vocation
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Strategies for World Peace
- The Global Elders
target="blank">http://www.theelders.org
- Miracle at Fushun
- Japanese Constitution Article 9
- Greenpeace
target="blank">http://www.greenpeace.org
- Jeremy Gilley: Day One of World Peace
target="blank">http://www.ted.com/talks/jeremy_gilley_one_day_of_peace.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/jeremy_gilley_one_day_of_peace.html
CHAPTER TWELVE
Beyond World Peace
Read More
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
Posted August 24, 2010
The purpose of this book is to inspire you, and empower you to make positive changes in your own life and shape a far greater humanity. We are living in the age where we can create World Peace.
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
INDEX
CHAPTER ONE
Awareness
- of the Whole - published September 25, 2010
- of the Self - published September 25, 2010
- of Each Other - published November 10, 2010
- of our Physical Environment - published November 25, 2010
- of our Communication in Relationships - published August 25, 2011
- of our Social Systems - coming soon
- Government
- Schools
- Economic model
- T.V.
- Food Production
- Health
- Corporate Influence
- Military
Awareness of our Invisible Environment
- Energy and Consciousness
Awareness of the Universe
- Carl Sagan
- Nasa
- Harmony and Peace
CHAPTER TWO
Acknowledgement
CHAPTER THREE
Outside Logical Thinking
- Mother Therese
- Susan George
- Walt Disney
- Noam Chomsky
CHAPTER FOUR
Vision
CHAPTER FIVE
Action
CHAPTER SIX
Alignment
CHAPTER SEVEN
Measurement
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Super Power of Civil Society
- Boutros Boutros-Ghali
- Invastion of Iraq
- International Peace Movement
- The People of Canada and Prime Minister Jean Cretien
CHAPTER NINE
Contradictions Do Not Exist
- Ayn Rand
- The Alchemist
CHAPTER TEN
Vocation
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Strategies for World Peace
- The Global Elders
- Miracle at Fushun
- Japanese Constitution Article 9
- Jeremy Gilley: Day One of World Peace
CHAPTER TWELVE
Beyond World Peace
____________________________________________________
Posted August 24, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter One
AWARENESS
Awareness of the Whole
If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
Chinese Proverb
Australia’s Great Barrier Reef is truly magnificent - a coral reef stretching 3,000 km from the tip of Cape York to the coastal town of Bundaberg. It is full of rich, diverse and colourful sea life.
This is where I experienced my first moment of awakening – out on a small boat, in the moon-lit blackness of the ocean.
I was 22 years old when my boyfriend, Ross, and I traveled to Australia, with the intention of emigrating. I was born in Melbourne, SE Australia, but left when I was a baby. So, over the years, I had developed a deep curiosity about the land.
Bored with our mundane jobs, and routine life, Ross and I managed to save up $18,000 between the two of us, and we packed our clothes, booked seats on a jumbo jet, and headed across the Pacific for about 20 hours. Upon arriving in Sydney, after getting our bearings, and staying for a week in a shady hotel, we purchased a used kombi to carry us up and down the east coast. A kombi (combination) is a VW van with a little kitchen (stove and cupboards) and a bench that converts to a double bed. It had a pop-top roof for air conditioning and an additional single bed above. It was white and orange, and had a good, strong engine.
We traveled north along the east coast, stopping at camp sites in towns and cities and exploring the local scenery, culture, and food. The chips (French fries) in Australia are the best I’ve ever tasted. I think it has something to do with the red, iron-rich soil that the potatoes are grown in. The scenery along the Gold Coast is gorgeous - beaches upon beaches of golden sand stretching for miles, without a soul on them, clear blue warm water, palm trees, and rugged rocks.
When we reached Arlie Beach, off the Great Barrier Reef, we chartered a small engine boat, captained by an older couple who enjoyed taking tourists on small voyages. It was an over- night trip and, during the first day, we ventured across the reef to a small sand cay where we were dropped of to go snorkeling. We were awe-struck by the beauty and colour of what lay just below the surface.
From above the water, it looked grayish-blue but, just underneath, the water was alive with orange fish, green sea cucumbers, and a clam that I’m sure was 8 ft. long. Its mouth was partly open, revealing ruffles of skin in bright purple and turquoise. I can still see it. After a couple of hours of snorkeling, we rested on the beach until our captains returned. To our astonishment and fright, a hammer-head shark swam right up to the shore, very curious about us. We were quite concerned that it might launch itself upon the sand for a quick snack. The sand cay was tiny, only about 30’ long and 15’ wide, so we had no where to go to escape. After a while, it got bored with us and left, much to our relief. We were later told not to worry, because the sharks are extremely well-fed on the reef with the abundance of fish and larger sea mammals.
After a lovely meal on-board (the Aussies do wonders with a salad plate – juicy mangoes, pineapples, bananas, cold meats and potato salads), we played some cards, relaxed on deck watching the sun go down, and then retired below to our cabins. I don’t remember if I fell asleep or lay awake but, around midnight, I got out of my bunk, and emerged up on deck. Everyone else was asleep and I was by myself amidst the great blackness of the ocean.
I remember my senses coming alive. First my eyes were astounded by the sheer darkness of the sight before me. We were no where near land, so there were no city lights reflecting off the water or lighting the sky. The moon was waxing but not full, and the stars were shining brightly against the blackness of the sky. The stars numbered billions, Carl. There was nothing else around us, no land, no other boats, just the vastness of ocean and sky.
The next sense that became highly atuned was my hearing. I listened intently, but couldn’t hear a thing. I’d never experienced that before. I’ve since heard the astronauts say that, once they were on the moon, the silence was deafening. Now I know what they mean. The void is really loud.
Once I absorbed these new experiences, I became aware of something extraordinary – a heightened sense, an overwhelming awareness. I later heard some people describe this awareness as though they felt someone or something was watching them, possibly even God.
It’s a feeling of connection, to something far bigger and grander than any relationship to another person or place or community. In that moment, I felt my place in the universe. I could certainly see it – the cosmos was close and intimate. I felt at one with the elements: the sea, the sky, the air, the darkness, the stars, the silence, the beauty, the nature, the all. I felt a connection. I felt like I was part of the unbroken whole. And more than that, I felt the consciousness of the elements. The elements were observing me as well, and I could feel their presence, their intelligence. The ocean seemed like a great restless animal.
I sat there, on the deck of that little boat, for about an hour, breathing deeply, absorbing the wonder of it all. The experience was infused at a cellular level. I can still see it, feel it, hear it, and recall it in detail, these 30 years later.
That was my first moment of awakening, of awareness, of something bigger, something conscious and whole. I became aware in that moment, that everything is connected.
Many years later I discovered that the conditions of darkness and silence are the precursors to such a heightened awareness and consciousness. It is these conditions in meditation that create the opening, and invite inspiration as well as solutions to problems.
What I experienced that night, at the age of 22, I thought was an anomaly – something strange and unique. I’d never heard anyone talk of such a feeling or awareness, nor read anything about it anywhere. At that time, I didn’t have the language to describe it, so I kept the experience to myself.
Ross and I continued our travels around Australia, in our faithful kombi, and actually went home after 6 months. Our plans to emigrate did not transpire.
It would be 15 more years before I had my next moment of awakening.
___________________________________________________
Posted September 25, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter One
AWARENESS
Awareness of the Self
Everyone has the perfect gift to give to the world – and if each of us is freed up to give that give that is uniquely ours to give, the world will be in total harmony. – Buckminster Fuller
When I reached the end of high school, at age 17, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff. No one had prepared me for this moment. No one had offered guidance or direction. No one ever asked me what I wanted to do or be. No one provided mentoring or coaching to draw out my gifts and talents. I had no idea what to do next. I didn’t know what I had to offer. I had no self awareness.
No one ever mentioned the word university in my family. It wasn’t because my parents weren’t encouraging or thought we couldn’t succeed in higher education, in fact, they were, and still are, wonderful, supportive parents. It’s just that university wasn’t part of their world. There weren’t any conversations about the future. I had never heard the word career. And the term ‘life purpose’ was way out of my range of consciousness. I stood on the edge of the cliff, feeling confused, alone, and scared.
At 17, my only talent was playing pool (billiards). I wasn’t good in school or sports, and didn’t stand out in any particular way. But I was a pool shark. I could hustle all my friends, and I was very proud of this skill. About two weeks after high school finished, it occurred to my mother that I needed a job. Until then, no one had ever mentioned that word to me, either. I had no clue how to get one, how to prepare a resume, who to call or where I should look. My mother asked me what I could do and I said that I could play pool. So that’s were we started. We looked in the yellow pages under billiard sales, and I made my first employment inquiry. I asked if they were hiring and I said I was good at pool and could demonstrate for the customers. The Manager chuckled a bit and said: I’m so sorry, we just hired someone, but good luck. At that point, I had exhausted all my options.
One day shortly afterwards, a friend of my sister came over and said she was attending secretarial school. I realized at that moment that high school had actually taught me a skill. I could type, and I was pretty fast, so perhaps becoming a secretary would suit me. A few weeks later, I enrolled in the Patricia Stevens Career College and Finishing School. For six months, I improved my typing speed and accuracy, learned how to professionally answer an office telephone, learned bookkeeping skills, letter formatting, photocopying, carbon copying (the real thing – no computers then), and even shorthand.
I also learned how to walk with books on my head to keep my posture straight, how to apply make-up moderately for the office, what style of haircut best suited my face shape, how to walk with feet pointed straight forward, and how to conduct myself graciously in social situations. I think I was absent the day they taught dining etiquette. Every Friday afternoon, we had a group dialogue on current world affairs. The purpose was to develop well-rounded young women for professional careers. When I look back, I see that it did provide me with some solid skills that would serve me both personally and professionally.
After graduating from this college, I was hired for my first job as a receptionist for a life insurance company. When I applied, I completed some sort of questionnaire to assess my intelligence and skill set, and was then interviewed by the Manager. When I got home, I immediately sent her a thank you letter, expressing my appreciation for her time as well as my keen interest in the position. A week later, I received a call from her advising me that I had been selected as the successful applicant for the position. She also specifically informed me that I did not score the highest on the questionnaire, nor did I present myself better than the other candidates in the interview, but she was so impressed by my thank you card, that it showed her my initiative, professionalism and gratitude. And this is what won me the job. To this day, I still send a thank you to anyone who presents me with an opportunity, and it works almost every time. Do you know why? Because no one else does it. It sets you apart from the other applicants, puts your name in front of the interviewer again, and creates top-of-mind awareness. It works.
Over a 20 year period, I was a receptionist, a Telex/TWX and Gestetner operator (does anyone remember those ancient technologies?), a bookkeeper, a secretary, and a manager. Office work was all I knew. On some days, I pondered the meaning of life and questioned my happiness sitting in a stifling office, shuffling papers from one side of the desk to the other. But on most days, I sat diligently, keeping my nose down, doing the work, and receiving a paycheque. It fed me. On the good days, I felt like I was doing something worthwhile, supporting the company, the customers and employees, ensuring the papers were completed accurately and doing my best to contribute to the office morale. On the bad days, I watched the clock tick slowly, felt my lethargic body drag through the minutes, and escaped in my mind on my next holiday. Now, having worked with thousands of people, I know how common and sad this is. I think most people have experienced workplace drudgery. It’s work that we do, that isn’t fulfilling, but it provides some security. Unfortunately, that security becomes a prison.
I worked in various offices for 20 years. In every one, it was the people, my co-workers, that brought brightness to my days. I love working with people. Most were kind and generous and fun to be with, and the ones who were grumpy and bullying taught me patience, compassion and how to stand up for myself. So the endless paperwork was made bearable by the people.
Again, office work was all I knew. I fell into it, as they say. I had blinders on. I could see up and down, but I couldn’t see the horizon or the vast landscape that offered limitless opportunities in other professions. I had no awareness that I had talents and gifts and could do something else. I could see a succession of positions from receptionist to secretary to manager. After that it would have been regional manager and then vice-president. But at the mid-altitude of Manager, the rungs on my corporate ladder stopped – quite abruptly.
The office I worked in closed down and everyone in the office was laid off. It turned out to be one of those blessings in disguise, because everyone went on to do something they truly loved.
In fact, two years previous, I had had my fill of office work and the corporate environment, but couldn’t see any alternatives. So I trudged on. When you work in a certain field or organization for a long time, your confidence begins to erode and you doubt your ability to work anywhere else and be of value in any other role. I felt trapped. My office became a cell. The blinders beside my eyes could see no way out. So I did what many others do in times of desperation - I starting asking for divine intervention. I simply looked up at the heavens and said: “Alright, this isn’t working for me anymore. Please provide me with another opportunity – something inspiring, uplifting and fulfilling. I want to do something worthwhile and make a positive difference in the world.”
In 1997, the universe delivered on my request. The office closed and I left the little room with the shuffling papers. I felt free and liberated. I didn’t know which way to turn from there, but the sense of relief and release of stress was exhilarating. It took about three weeks to fully decompress, to stop thinking about the work, and really let it go. At that point, I could see how mundane the work was; in fact, I realized it was draining my energy and robbing my soul. But I didn’t know that at the time. An outside perspective brings heightened awareness. And with heightened awareness comes clearer vision and an open mind.
When I worked in the office, this was all I knew. I didn’t know about a soul’s purpose or a life mission, or reaching goals and striving for my highest potential. However, I was fully versed on the corporation’s mission and goals. But no one told me about creating my own personal mission, discovering my gifts and life purpose, reaching my goals and dreams and honoring my own values. That would come later.
Once I left the office, I had difficulty looking for similar work, because my heart just wasn’t in it. In fact, as I scoured the newspaper for jobs, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I later learned that this was my body and soul telling me that I needed to go in a different direction. But I didn’t know what. I found myself at the edge of the cliff again, feeling confused, alone and scared.
So I started asking myself what I really enjoyed. I began a journey of self-discovery. I started interviewing myself and was surprised to hear the answers. What do I really love to do? What excites me and gives me a feeling of fulfillment? What are my natural talents and gifts? What don’t I want to do any more? I realized that I was spending 90% of my time, sitting in my chair, shuffling papers from one side of the desk to the other, and only 10% of my time was with the people. I realized that this is what I enjoyed the most – the people. I realized something else as well. I realized that I had gained some self awareness. I was starting to ‘know thyself’.
I knew that I enjoyed inspiring people, guiding them, uplifting them and being supportive. I loved helping people set big goals and reach those goals. Helping people in this way brought me joy, happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. I was helping other people and helping myself at the same time. But a couple of months earlier, I had no awareness of this. The frame of my job, kept me inside a rigid view. I couldn’t see beyond it.
When I realized how much I enjoyed inspiring people to reach their goals, I knew I could never go back to the office environment. But didn’t know where to go. Having realized these answers did not lead to a job. What kind of a job could I do that encompassed all of this? Surely, there was no such job.
After several weeks of soul searching and questioning my purpose, my values, and my next step, the answer came to me. Two months after being laid off, a magazine arrived in my mailbox and, on the cover, was an article on Life Coaching. I’d never heard of it before. I was half-way through the article and it hit me like a pan in the face. This is it! This is me! The article talked about inspiring people, drawing out their natural talents and abilities, generating excitement, helping them set big goals and then supporting them in achieving those goals. It was all about deep and reflective conversations and evoking the truth so that the person could see it for themselves. The article described life coaching as a way to help people move forward in life with greater happiness and purpose. This was it. This was my gift.
This was liberating. This was true freedom. With this realization of my passions and talents and what brought me joy, it felt like the skies had parted, and there was a clear message written in the clouds saying: ‘Lorraine, you are meant to be a life coach.’ It was crystal clear. There was no doubt in my mind. This was my calling. And I responded to that calling with an exhuberant “YES!”
Eager to begin my new profession, it dawned on me that I had no idea how to begin. So, I met with the woman who wrote the article to find out how to become a life coach, what credentials I needed and how to attract clients to earn money. It was the beginning of a new adventure and a whole new world. I no longer felt like I was on the edge of a cliff. I felt like I was soaring into the sky. I was excited, ecstatic, and extremely optimistic about my future. Everything fell into place smoothly.
The author of the article encouraged me to meet another life coach who could guide me through the next phase of my life, develop my skills and build a coaching company. I could already feel that my life was very different, in ways that were difficult to articulate. Then a series of events occurred that showed me a new way of being, that was full of grace and ease. I felt like I was being guided by unseen hands.
The first event occurred on my way to meet my new life coach. He gave me directions and his address, but it was an area that I was unfamiliar with. I drove slowly, looking at each house for his number, and realized that I had passed it. It was a fairly busy street, so I told myself that I would turn around at the next road. Well, the next road that I came to was called St. Kilda Avenue. I didn’t know that there was such a road in this city. It was important because I was born in a suburb of Melbourne, Australia, called St. Kilda. After I found the right house, immediately felt a strong connection to my new life coach, it dawned on me that turning around on St. Kilda Road was a metaphor for turning my life around. It was a moment of re-birth.
One week after reading that fateful article, I had my coaching business set up. That was 14 years ago. Discovering my true purpose was my second great moment of awakening. But this time, I stayed awake.
-------------------------------------
Posted November 10, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
by Lorraine Sims
CHAPTER ONE
AWARENESS
Awareness of Each Other
We protect what we love
We love what we know
We know what we are taught
- Baba Dioum
Of all the areas of life that we have difficulty changing (career, money, relationships, home, health, higher education, spirituality, etc.), I know for sure, that it is our relationships that we find most challenging.
And it’s not surprising. No one teaches us how to be in a relationship – to be equal in a partnership or within a group; no one shows us how to speak up for ourselves with calmness, dignity and compassion; we don’t have teachers to show us how to resolve disagreements with friends, co-workers and family members, or show us what we can learn about ourselves from our reactions to others. And few of us are taught how to respect ourselves, to have honor and integrity in word and action, and develop a healthy relationship with ourselves, first. But we can’t blame our parents or school teachers for this absence of knowledge and understanding, because no one taught them, either.
This chapter may be difficult for you to read. It deals with some heavy subjects. It may not be cheerful or uplifting, but it will cause you to see others in a different light. It will offer insight about why we are the way we are in our base animal behaviors, and in our highest expressions of humanity.
The purpose of this chapter is to reach into the darkest areas of ourselves, of others, and of society as a whole, and bring those dark places up into the light for release, for healing and for peace. This chapter is about ourselves and our relationships with others. It is about understanding, compassion, apology, healing, reconciliation and forgiveness. It is about our personal enlightenment, and our contribution to the evolution of humankind.
Imagine five children growing up in an abusive home where one parent beats the other as well as the children. Each child in the same home can grow up with completely different imprinting and reactionary behaviors. But until their awareness is heightened, most will know their behavior as the norm.
One child may grow up to copy the violent behaviors he/she observed, seeing this as the norm. A second child may grow up highly protective of others, feeling a need to compensate for earlier fear and missed opportunities to protect his/her siblings.
A third child may grow up very submissive, wanting to please others to prevent any kind of upset and violence. A fourth child may be completely unresponsive to others, withdrawing from society, and the harm that was inflicted in youth. A fifth child could develop extreme neediness, having missed out on expressions of love and caring. If there were a sixth and seventh child, they could grow up with completely different behaviors and responses, from bullying to developing illnesses.
Each individual will internalize the traumatic experience in a different way, each trying to cope with the memories as well as the physical and emotional scars that were ingrained at a cellular level. These internal coping mechanisms will be outwardly expressed as reactionary behaviors. In an effort to overcome neglect, to get attention and be noticed, more extreme behaviors can include explosives and violent crimes.
Each grown up child will be in response mode, trying to counter or suppress the horrors of youth in order to cope, day to day. The human condition is a master at survival. However, at some point in their lives, the grown up children, now adults, may become aware of their reactionary behaviors and see that these behaviors no longer serve them. In the beginning, their individual methods would have kept them safe from harm, and this was necessary for survival. But in mid-adulthood, (late 20’s to late 30’s) an awareness may rise within them, that they are unhappy. They will see that they have had a lifetime of difficult relationships, from being too needy, to submissive, too violent, too withdrawn or too protective, and these behaviors have pushed people away. But if they have the courage and support to look beyond this awareness, they will see that this is not their fault, that they were doing the best they could, and didn’t know how to be any other way. At this point they can choose, because they don’t want their past to control their present and future.
All the above tragic circumstances have been lived by people I care about, and each has become aware of the root causes of their behaviors with the emotional support and highly-skilled techniques of counselors and psychologists. They have expressed to me how this awareness and acknowledgement shone a light on their dark memories and began the process of healing and progress.
At and this point, they can choose to make changes, to be happy, and to stop being victims.
But this awareness does not seem to find them all, and this is sad, as those who remain oblivious to their impact on others will continue the cycle of behavior throughout their lives and it will be infused in their children and so on. But they don’t know this. This knowledge and self-awareness has not reached them.
But it’s not their fault that they did not come into contact with this insight. It is, in fact, the responsibility of all of us, to look out for each other, to protect our youth, to nurture our children, and to reach out to those in pain who are reacting with imploding or exploding behaviors. Nor is it the fault of the abusive parent who instilled within his/her children the reactionary behaviors. For, sadly, this parent was once a child too, and experienced the same horrors in youth, that now his/her children endure. This parent was once the child who learned the behavior of violence as the norm. This behavior was learned and imprinted generations ago.
And it must also be said that our behaviors are shaped not only by abusive or neglectful childhoods, we can also experience the negative results from too much love, smothering with kindness, over-protectiveness, or too much independence. But in most cases, parents are doing the best that they can with the resources they have. They learned their parenting skills from their parents, and they may not have been good role models to begin with. Providing a safe physical environment is one thing, and providing a healthy emotional home is quite another.
We are extremely fortunate, that in the last 30 years, there has been a wonderful surge of therapeutic methods to help people restore their wellness and go on to create happy and healthy lives. For most of our grandparents and parents, however, there was no awareness of this, and few people had access to counselors or therapists. There was no one to teach them that their harmful repetitive behaviors had devastating affects on their children and grandchildren, but could be overcome.
We must look to the beginning, and know that every child is born pure and innocent. It is our environment of violence or neglect or abuse, that teaches us how to be in this world and shapes us into our adult selves. That first child started out as a gentle human being, but was damaged by a series of violent encounters.
Therefore, with greater insight, understanding and compassion we can refrain from being judgmental of those who perpetrate against us, for they did not have the love and support they needed to be happy and fulfilled and reach their highest potential.
We tend to judge what we see on the outside, on the surface, without any regard for what that person has been through. By learning about their life experiences, or even considering what they may have endured, we find understanding and compassion. And this is the path to reconciliation and growth, as individuals and as a society.
In the late 1990’s I taught at a counseling and coaching college and learned of a program within the prisons call the Victim/Offender Reconciliation program. Through counseling, and face-to-face dialogue, the victims reconcile with the inmates to bring them both to a place of closure and, often, forgiveness. The purpose is to achieve resolution for both parties, with the results of healing, trauma recovery and closure. When I first heard of this, I was astounded. I had no idea that such a thing was possible, or even that someone was helping people achieve this. These were people who had been raped, or had family members killed, and were ready to forgive their attackers and the murderers, so that they could release the anger, hatred and fear, and move forward with their lives. This, obviously took a long time, and could only occur if the victim was ready to release their constrained emotions and move on. They became aware that by continuing to direct their anger at the rapist or murderer, they were hanging onto the emotional terror and unconsciously maintaining the frightening relationship. By addressing the facts and feelings, and focusing on accountability, releasing shame, reducing anxiety, gaining answers and truth-telling, they were able to release the fear and horror that kept the two inextricably tied.
And again, let us look at how that violent behavior grew within those individuals. It did not come out of thin air. It came from a dark past. In almost all cases, the violent offenders had previously been victims themselves. Through revealing their own horrors of youth, the rapist and the victim became healed, and compassion was expressed. Once a person becomes aware of the connection between their origins and current behaviors, that person has the power to over-ride the influence of their youth and their reactionary behaviors. And this is a turning point in life for the individual.
The above describes individual acts of apology, compassion, forgiveness, and healing. On a much larger scale, these higher human graces are occurring in whole societies and nations around the world.
In Rwanda, an extraordinary environment of healing and reconciliation is occurring, where 15 years earlier, a horrific mass murder occurred, in the name of civil war. In 100 days, 800,000 people were macheteed and butchered to death, while the world looked the other way. In a violent and bloody rage, people of different races attacked one another, killing men, women and children. Now, in the lingering trauma and aftermath, the people of all races, gather together in stadiums, and on the grass in their communities, to bear witness to the atrocities. They gather to hear the accounts of those who murdered their families and neighbours. They come to listen to the confessions and horror stories of kill or be killed, of slavery, abductions, child soldiers and rape. And they share in their common distress and desperation caused by poverty, disease, struggles for food and water, and basic human rights. They come to learn of the frightening circumstances that led to their bloody actions, and they come to hear of their remorse, to receive apology, and to forgive, to be free of the physical and emotional wounds.
In 1996, the process of criminal trials began to bring to justice those who perpetrated the atrocities. After 10 years of court proceedings, exhorbitant costs, and overflowing prisons, it became apparent that it would take 110 years to complete the trials, and another method of justice was required. The gatherings, or tribunals are called Gacaca, which means Justice on the Grass, a traditional form of community justice. Gacaca promotes peace, harmony and reconciliation through the process of truth-telling, rather than punishment. The people come together in the same space to work through the history of their suffering so the country can heal and move on.
In 2008 the Canadian government formally apologized to the people of the First Nations who suffered horrible childhood experiences at the hand of the caucasian government. In the early 1900’s, the government ordered the removal of aboriginal children from their families and homes, to be reformed and assimilated in “Residential Schools”. The children were stolen from their families, torn from their language and culture, forced to learn English and convert to Christianity and, in many cases, were beaten and raped by their teachers and caretakers. This continued for almost 40 years in 130 schools across the country, and affected 150,000 children, 87,000 of whom survive today. It took almost 100 years for the government to apologize and to accept responsibility for the sins of their fathers. Many are unable to accept the apology, while others have chosen the words: “I’m sorry”, as a first step towards healing.
At the counseling and coaching college, I met a wonderful woman of First Nations decent, who had chosen to devote her life to helping her people heal from the horrors of the Residential Schools. She told me that the abuse that the children experienced in the schools had a horrific ripple effect within their families and communities. It began a cycle of physical and sexual abuse as well as alcoholism and suicide that continues today. She said, up until the horrors of the Residential School system, there was no abuse amongst the aboriginal peoples.
In South Africa, almost 30 years after the abolishment of aparthied, the people remain separated. Archbishop Desmond Tutu has created the Truth and Reconciliation Commission to guide the people of his country from repression to healing. Through this process, any citizen ready to reveal the truth about their participation in the atrocities of South Africa’s dark past, is offered amnesty. The result has been an extraordinary account of brutal inhumanity, but also of the great human capacity to forgive.
These individual and national acts of apology, compassion, forgiveness and reconciliation are, to me, a positive sign of a revolution that is occurring throughout the world. It is an outward demonstration of our capacity as human beings to delve deep into the darkness and bring our individual and collective pain to the light to be released and set free.
In many places around the world, people still struggle for such freedom. During WWII in Asia, young women were abducted from their families and forced to provide ‘comfort’ for the soldiers traumatized by war. Anyone who has been raped, or knows someone who has been raped, knows how the horror affects the life of the victim. The fear and horror are always close by in memory and fearful behaviors. The physical abuse may be over, but the mental trauma continues. The women were confined and raped for years while the war waged on. They were called “Comfort Women”. Between 1928 and 1935, 200,000 young women from Japan, Korea, China the Philippines and Burma, between the ages of 8 and 18, were forced into sex slavery by the Japanese Imperial Army. Today, some of the surviving women live together just outside Tokyo, supporting each other and caring for each other, into their 70’s and 80’s. Once a month, they travel to the capital to protest to the government, their brutal treatment and to demand acknowledgement and apology. To this day, the Japanese government has yet to hear them, meet with them, acknowledge them, or apologize and admit to this war crime against their country’s own daughters.
A friend of mine went to visit these courageous women a few years ago, to hear their stories, to share their pain, to offer her apology on behalf of the Japanese people, and to encourage their endeavours. The women were grateful for her kindness and support.
We all have a right to be happy, healthy and live up to our full potential. We need each other for love and protection, for nurturing and compassion, as these are the conditions necessary for growth and the advancement of humanity. We still have a long way to go, but these experiences of individual and national healing are signs of a new and silent revolution – a new and heightened consciousness.
Through these acts of compassion and understanding, we are acknowledging that we are all one. We are learning not to judge what we see on the surface. We are becoming aware that we are all human. We all need to be needed, to love and be loved. We all have hardships and sorrows, fears and worries, and hopes and dreams for a better life. We all want peace and justice, and we all want a safe and loving world for our children. In order to achieve this, we must care for one another. We must protect everyone’s rights, love what we don’t understand, and seek to know more than we are taught.
I’d like to end this excerpt with the last words from Lt. General Romeo Dallaire’s book, ‘Shake Hands with the Devil’. This book is his account of the bloody massacre that he witnessed and was ill-equipped to prevent in Rwanda in 1994. Dallaire is Canadian, and was the leader of the failed U.N. attempt to stop the brutal slaughter of 800,000 Rwandans.
“We have lived through centuries of enlightenment, reason, revolution, industrialization, and globalization. No matter how idealistic the aim sounds, this new century must become the Century of Humanity, when we as human beings rise above race, creed, colour, religion and national self-interest and put the good of humanity above the good of our own tribe. For the sake of the children and of our future.”
_____________________________
Posted November 25, 2010
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
Chapter One
AWARENESS
Awareness of our Physical Environment
The conflict over our attitudes and the way we treat the land goes back a long way. In 1854, U.S. President Franklin Pierce made an offer for a large area of Indian land and promised a ‘reservation’ for the Indian people. The reply of Chief Seattle, published here in full, has been described as one of the most beautiful and profound statements on the environment ever made.
“How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?
Every part of this earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and experience of my people. The sap which courses through the trees carries the memory of the red man.
The white man’s dead forget the country of their birth when they go walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters, the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and man – all belong to the same family.
So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land, he asks much of us. The Great Chief sends word that he will reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably to ourselves. He will be our father and we will be his children. So we will consider your offer to buy our land. But it will not be easy. For the land is sacred to us.
The shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you our land, you must remember that it is sacred and that each ghostly reflection in the clear water of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water’s murmur is the voice of my father’s father.
The rivers are our brothers, they quench our thirst. The rivers carry our canoes, and feed our children. If we sell you our land, you must remember to teach your children that the rivers are our brothers, and yours, and you must henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.
We know that the white man does not understand our ways. One portion of the land is the same to him as the next, for he is a stranger who comes in the night and takes from the land whatever he needs. The earth is not his brother, but his enemy, and when he has conquered it, he moves on.
He leaves his father’s grave behind and he does not care. His father’s grave and his children’s birthright are forgotten. He treats his mother, the earth, and his brother, the sky as things to be bought, plundered, sold like sheep or bright beads. His appetite will devour the earth and leave behind only desert.
There is no quiet place in the white man’s cities. No place to hear the unfurling of leaves in the spring or the rustle of an insect’s wings. But perhaps it is because I am a savage and do not understand. The clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to like if man can not hear the cry of the whippoorwill or the argument of the frogs around a pond at night? I am a red man and do not understand. The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of a pond, and the smell of the wind itself cleansed by a midday rain, or scented with the pinion pine.
The air is precious to the red man, for all things share the same breath. The white man does not seem to notice the air he breathes. Like a man dying for many days, he is numb to the stench. But if we sell you our land, you must remember the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all life it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh. And if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred as a place where even the white man can to go taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow’s flowers.
So we consider your offer to buy our land. If we decide to accept, I will make one condition: the white man must treat the beasts of the land as his brothers.
I am a savage and do not understand any other way. I have seen the rotting buffaloes on the prairie, left by the white man who shot them from a passing train. I am a savage and do not understand how the smoking iron horse can be more important than the buffalo that we kill only to stay alive.
What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts are gone, man would die from a great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected. You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is the ashes of our grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin. Teach your children what we have taught our children – that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.
Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
Even the white man, whose God walks and talks with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We shall see. One thing we do know, which the white man may one day discover, our God is the same God. You may think now that you own Him as you wish to own our land, but you cannot. He is the God of man, and His compassion is equal for the red man and the white. The earth is precious to Him, and to harm the earth, is to heap contempt on its Creator. The whites too, shall pass; perhaps sooner than all the other tribes. Contaminate your bed and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.
But in your perishing you will shine brightly, fired by the strength of God who brought you to this land and for some special purpose gave you dominion over the land and over the red man. That destiny is a mystery to us, for we do not understand. When the buffalo are all slaughtered, the wild horse are tamed, the sacred corners of the forest heavy with the scent of many men, and when the view of the ripe hills blotted by talking wires. Where is the thicket? Gone. Where is the eagle? Gone. The end of living and the beginning of survival.”
- Chief Seattle, 1854.
When I was 11 years old, I thought I was going to die – literally. I heard a news report that a nuclear bomb was to be tested on an island off the coast of Alaska and the resulting shock would cause a tidal wave that would flood Vancouver and drown everyone living here. I was frightened to death.
I’d never come so close to my own mortality before. The news reports began weeks in advance of the upcoming explosion, so by the time the day arrived, I was beside myself with terror.
I remember thinking that I didn’t want to just sit and wait for it, I’d rather be doing something to take my mind off my inevitable drowning. So I decided to go and see a movie at the nearby theatre. According to the scientists, the tidal wave would reach Vancouver at about 2:00 p.m.. At 1:30 p.m., I sat in the dark theatre, trembling, awaiting my demise, listening intently for the thundering sound of crashing water. 2:00 p.m. passed, 2:15, 2:30 and 3:00 p.m. Nothing happened. At 3:15 the movie ended, and I left the theatre and emerged into the daylight.
To my astonishment, the world was as it had been 2 hours earlier. Perhaps the scientists had miscalculated, and the tidal wave was taking longer to reach us.
When I got home, I went into my room and turned on my transistor radio to listen for any news of the bomb and the tidal wave. But I heard nothing.
The next day at school, my grade 6 teacher told us about a group of people from Vancouver, who were so outraged by the bomb testing, that they had rented a small boat weeks earlier and traveled up the west coast to the bomb site to try to stop it. Others from this same group had been relentlessly calling the Whitehouse to get a meeting with U.S. President Nixon who had authorized this bomb test, to implore him to cancel the test. Their requests for a meeting had been denied.
I was fascinated by this courageous group of people. This was the first time I had any awareness that ordinary citizens had the power to stand up and say no to a government decision. I was amazed that these people had the courage to stand up to the U.S. government, and actually come into close proximity to a nuclear bomb blast. And they were doing it not only for the protection of the people living on the west coast of Canada and Alaska, but for all of humanity as it endangered world peace and threatened the ecological balance of our environment.
This small group of people from Vancouver later came to call themselves Greenpeace.
The knowledge of these 20 people and their determination had a life-changing affect on me.
At the age of 11, I learned many important lessons from this small group of courageous people:
- that we do not have to accept the threats of war and environmental degradation from anyone;
- that our world leaders can make asinine and dangerous decisions;
- that we all have a right to stand up and be heard and influence decisions that affect us all;
- that we all have a responsibility to protect our environment and all life within it;
- and we all have a right to live in peace with clean and pure natural resources.
On Saturday morning, November 6, 1971, the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission detonated a 5.2 megaton hydrogen bomb 5,875 feet below the surface of Amchitka Island, off the coast of Alaska. ‘The blast created a molten cavern inside the rock, fissured the volcanic substrate, and blew a mile-wide crater on the surface that filled with water, later named Cannikin Lake. Radioactive krypton gas leaked from the fissured rock. Military buildings and trailers crumpled, roads collapsed, and the fault line lifted 3 feet across 14 acres of tundra. Six natural lakes drained dry. Forty thousand cubic metres of granite crumbled from shoreline cliffs. The shock wave registered 7.2 on the Richter scale, the largest human-made earth tremor in history. As with earlier blasts, the shock instantly killed seabirds on the rocks and split the skulls of thousands of sea otters.’ (Rex Weyler, Greenpeace, the Inside Story).
The tidal wave never came.
Looking back on this horrific moment in my life, not to mention the lives of everyone that this nuclear bomb blast affected, it occurs to me that not once did I hear anyone mention the terror and emotional impact this event had on the children. The news reports were all very matter-of-fact, my teacher was fascinated by the science of it all, and my parents didn’t seem to have any knowledge of it at all, at least they didn’t mention it. This was probably the first time I knew real fear, but there was no one to ease my concerns. I felt very frightened and alone.
I have immense gratitude to those who, in 1971, gave meaning to the word activism. Again, this was my first introduction to a world of political decisions, civil protest, and human rights. I was 11 years old and, today, 40 years later, I remain a loyal member and supporter of the Greenpeace mission to protect the environment and all life on earth. It began with a group of about 20 people, talking around a kitchen table, in a home in Vancouver, attempting to stop a nuclear bomb, and now has grown into an international organization that seeks to protect the environment of the whole world.
Greenpeace has been instrumental in saving thousands of acres of British Columbia’s pristine forests from being clearcut. They have pressured large corporations like Kimberly Clark (Scott paper towels, Purex toilet paper, Kotex napkins), to stop felling ancient trees for their paper products, and have gained public support to ban whale fishing around the world. That’s an astounding record, just to name a few achievements. Greenpeace has also been the inspiration for countless organizations to rise up and initiate action for human rights, medical care, education, peace and justice.
I think the mission and activities of Greenpeace are remarkable. The organization gives voice and action for the protection of the planet, and also protects us from our own self-destruction. Greenpeace has heightened our awareness to the sacred balance of nature, and to the devastating impact that humans have upon it.
Although I didn’t voice my concerns about the nuclear bomb when I was 11, our youth today are bravely speaking out and getting a lot of attention.
The Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro in 1992 was a significant moment in time, for three extraordinary reasons:
Firstly, it was the first time that the United Nations had convened a conference specifically to address the urgent problems of environmental protection, including poisonous waste, alternatives to fossil fuels and our growing scarcity of water. 172 governments were represented there, including 108 heads of state who signed the Convention on Biodiversity and the Convention on Climate Change, which led to the Kyoto Accord.
Secondly, it was the first time that the United Nations had invited the general public to speak to the assembly of nations. This was a giant leap forward for, what U.N. Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali later called, the ‘Super Power of Civil Society’.
Thirdly, a 12-year old child commanded the podium for 8 minutes and addressed the world leaders with a stern plea to stop the systematic destruction of the planet, and protect the earth’s environment. She delivered such a moving speech, that it still has profound power today. This child was Severn Cullis-Suzuki, daughter of environmental researchers and activists, Dr. Tara Cullis and Dr. David Suzuki.
Severn’s graphic speech about cancerous fish, the hole in the ozone layer, and fighting for her future can be seen on YouTube, and I invite you now to watch, listen and learn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZsDliXzyAY.html
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Posted August 25, 2011
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter 1
Awareness
Communication in Relationships
Truth is the highest form of communication.
The presence of truth in effective communication contributes to a far greater humanity.
The truth is that people have no idea how their words and behaviors affect other people, until you tell them.
Of all the areas of life in which my clients ask for help, communication in relationships seems to be the most challenging. I think this is because we are not properly taught how to communicate effectively. We don’t learn it in school, our parents couldn’t teach us because no one taught them, and we don’t learn it from our friends or the media.
As a result, we often find that our words are misinterpreted or misunderstood. How many times have you given instructions to someone or made a request, only to find that a miscommunication has occurred.
Effective communication is a skill that can be taught. I learned an effective procedure from my mentor many years ago, and then received advanced skills from my own coach. I am happy to pass on this skill and step by step procedure to you so you can be truly heard and have your requests honored.
To begin, here are some simple rules:
RULES OF COMMUNICATION:
1. Always speak with calmness, politeness and respect.
2. When people talk about you, they are actually talking about themselves.
3. In communicating your needs, always speak clearly, openly and honestly.
4. It's not what you say; it's how you say it.
These rules seem simple enough but, in reality, are hard to get to with so many obstacles in the way:
1. We tell ourselves ‘we don’t like confrontation’.
2. We worry about reprisals and fear greater harm or unhappiness.
3. People would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship at all. This stems from our biggest fear of separation.
People hold themselves back from communicating any kind of concern to another person because they anticipate a negative a response. This is because our minds tend to default to the negative. When we project a scenario or potential outcome of an action (i.e. tell someone that their behaviors have a negative impact on you), we think they will not like us anymore or will not talk to us and so the relationships will worsen. Our minds have a habit of simulating scenarios that work against us.
People would rather tolerate an unhealthy relationship rather than have no relationship at all. This is because our worst fear is separation and loneliness. It stems from the fact that we are all connected – all one – all part of the same whole. Separation from what connects us is our deepest fear. We fear loneliness (separation from love), we fear poverty (separation from basic needs as well as society), we fear death (separation from life and loved ones), we fear humiliation (separation from dignity and respect), and we fear success (separation from our peers).
This fear of separation can keep us locked in a bad relationship because we can’t see any way out.
However, this negative scenario projection into our fears, is just one possibility, one perspective, but we see it as the only perspective, and this fear stops us from taking any action to resolve the situation.
As R. Michael Fisher describes it, we look at things through the lens of fear, rather than seeing that fear is just one view.
To overcome this, we can ask ourselves, what other possible outcomes can there be? i.e. my friend will apologize, not realizing he had hurt my feelings; my boss will say she misunderstood my goals because I had never expressed them before; my mother will express that she was unaware that her behaviors felt like control and she will change her words and actions.
Having offered these different scenarios as possible outcomes, our minds can still play tricks on us and convince us that only the negative will come about. And we will cower from the conversations, labeling them ‘confrontations’.
Only with the courage to approach the other person, with a rehearsed conversation (clearly expressing how you feel, not what the other person is doing wrong), will you be privy to the results that will be far beyond anything you can imagine. This is one of the wonderful gifts that come from changing your own views and behaviors. Only with this experimentation will you realize the benefits and results. (To muster courage, acknowledge your past accomplishments. You have many.)
And there is an added bonus. Once you have had one conversation it releases a heavy burden and makes you feel lighter. It clears your mind and your soul and increases your happiness. It compounds your understanding of communication and relationships and incurs greater courage and ease for the next conversation.
So, let’s look at some guidelines for creating positive relationships:
First of all, we all strive to be happy, and this happiness comes from our harmonious relationships with others.
Secondly, you cannot change anyone else’s behavior; you can only change your own. However, by changing your own behavior, others have to change in response.
Once you decide that you want to improve a relationship with someone, though communication, the intent must come from goodness. If the source is anger, revenge, harm or blame, no good can come of it.
I have observed this communication method work in wonderful and surprising ways. Many of my clients have said that this step by step approach has had a very positive impact on their lives. I’ve helped people talk to their bosses about their work and receive raises, promotions and greater challenges. Clients have talked to their spouses and siblings about upsetting comments and behaviors which have stopped, others have spoken to parents about controlling issues and been released, and many have been honest with themselves about changing their own behaviors. (When we learn a new skill, we learn so much about ourselves).
This is a very big life shift - a whole new way of being.
Here is a step by step lesson in how to communicate with another person with whom you want a better relationship:
1. Let the other person know that you would like to talk to them about something that is very important to you. This will set the tone and give the conversation the respect it requires. It will also prepare the other person for an important conversation. The conversation must be arranged for a neutral place, and at a time separate from the when the concern arises, otherwise there will be too much emotional intensity for any positive change to come from addressing the topic.
2. Schedule a day and time that is suitable for you both. If she/he asks what it is about, just say that you will tell them when you meet and it is very important.
3. Script out your conversation. Be very clear about what you wish to express and clarify what change you would like to see to create a better relationship. In the conversation there can be no blaming, no hurtful comments, no swearing, etc. You must present yourself with maturity and dignity.
Key: Focus on how you feel, not what the other person has done wrong. If you tell someone they have done something wrong, they will get defensive, and this is not conducive to a positive conversation and desired outcome.
Script example: John, thank you for meeting with me. I really appreciate your time and attention. I would like to talk to you about something that is very important to me and I would appreciate it if you would not speak, just listen until I am finished. Can you do this for me please? Thank you.
I have been feeling very uncomfortable when you make comments about my (intelligence, career, school grades, weight, friends, home, etc). Last week you said to me “I think you should give up on that career, because you won’t succeed anyway.”
This makes me feel very sad and makes me think that you don’t have faith in my abilities.
Also, 2 weeks ago, you said to me: “You are being stupid, if you think I don’t care.”
(Give clear and specific examples).
I feel like you discredit my feelings, and you don’t appreciate or respect me”.
I do not like these comments. They feel hurtful and undermining, and I need you to stop. Can you do this for me, please?
Also, I have a request. I would like to hear you encourage me towards my goals and say kind things to me and about me.
Can you do this for me, please? Thank you.
4. Rehearse your conversation many times, in the mirror, with a friend, etc. Envision a positive outcome to the conversation, and a much closer relationship.
5. Meet face to face with the individual and express clearly, calmly, politely, maturely and respectfully:
(a) your concern
(b) how her/his comments/behaviors make you feel
(c) and what you request for positive change.
6. Be prepared for the other person to express surprise, being unaware of how their comments affect you, being apologetic, belittling the importance to you, or denial of their participation in your concern. Allow the other person a chance to express themselves. (Listening, in itself, is another skill that can be highly developed to enhance communication and resolve problems.)
7. You do not have to agree with or accept what the other person has to say. But listen. The important thing is that you express your concern and ask that it stop. The response is not as important.
8. If they want more time to think about your concern and request, give the other person a week to respond.
9. Don’t expect a change right away. Sometimes a positive result will come immediately, but usually, it takes about 48 hours.
10. Within a week, you will observe some positive changes in the other person’s behavior and or comments. When this happens, it is important to acknowledge it and say thank you.
11. If, by small chance, the other person is unwilling to acknowledge your concern or honor your request, then it is time to release that relationship, because there are many other people who will appreciate and respect you.
REPEAT NOTE: You cannot change anyone else’s behavior; you can only change your own. However, in changing your own behavior, others must change in response.
In this step by step approach, you are initiating the change within yourself by communicating your truth, your feelings, and asking for change.
With the first conversation accomplished, you will feel an extraordinary sense of empowerment, lightness, glee, and confidence. Congratulations.
Truth is the highest form of communication.
The presence of truth in effective communication contributes to a far greater humanity.
The truth is that people have no idea how their words and behaviors affect other people, until you tell them.
I invite your questions and comments.
Sincerely,
Lorraine Sims
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Posted September 25, 2011
THE SILENT REVOLUTION
A Guide to Spiritual Awakening
By Lorraine Sims
Chapter 10
Vocation
Some people are gifted with their hands and can produce marvelous creations in their capacity as carpenters, artists, or builders. Others have a kind heart, are compassionate, understanding, or are special peacemakers; others, again, are humorous and bring joy into our lives. We have all met individuals who are gifted in science or sports, have great organizational skills or a healing touch. And, of course, some people are very talented at making money. Indeed, even the most physically or mentally challenged person teaches all of us about the value and worth of human life.
I think God, in fact, played a trick on us. He gave each and every person special talents or gifts, but he made no one gifted in all areas. Collectively, we have all it takes to create a just and peaceful world, but we must work together and share our talents. We all need one another to find happiness within ourselves and within the world.
– Craig Kielburger, Founder of Free the Children, from Architects of Peace
The most exciting aspect of my work is helping people discover and fulfill their ultimate purpose in life. This greater purpose has a spiritually-uplifting power, and connects us to something much bigger than ourselves.
We have all been designed for an important purpose. Each individual’s purpose is like a piece of a giant jig saw puzzle, and every one of us is an integral part, essential to the whole picture. By expressing our natural talents and gifts, we fulfill our purpose and, thereby, contribute to a higher ideal – a world of peace and happiness.
I have learned that everyone’s gift is different, but every one has equal value. You have, within you, a combination of talents, abilities, and passions that form your unique gift. No one else in the world has the same gift as you. It is yours to express and share with others. When you do this, it brings you happiness and fulfillment, and also contributes to the wellbeing and success of others, in addition to the enrichment of the world.
Discovering your gift can take but an hour and spark new life into you. Fulfilling your purpose can take decades, but will make your journey lighter and much more enjoyable.
You came into this world with a natural gift and it began to show up when you were very young.
Give me the boy until he is 7, and I will give you the man.
Although this saying is gender-biased, it points to the awareness that our adult purpose is evident in our childhood behavoirs.
When a natural talent is observed, some children are encouraged and guided to develop their natural gifts for dancing, sports, building, discovering, organizing, teaching, or healing. Others are pulled away from their talents due to family pressures, obligations, or emergency situations. But the gifts are still there. They may be suppressed, but they exist embedded in each individual.
Many people come to me because they feel unfulfilled or disconnected from their true selves, doing work that it out of alignment with their passions. This can lead to depression, illness, difficulty in relationships, and many other problems. They feel stuck but want to move forward in life and reach their highest potential. They know they have so much more to contribute, but aren’t sure what that is, or how to realize it.
It is exciting for them and me to discover their higher purpose and draw it to the surface. Once this occurs, the individual feels a sense of inner knowing, of belonging and sees the possibilities that they couldn’t see before. This leads to greater happiness, health and a strong desire to step into their higher selves to fulfill the purpose they were designed for.
What I speak of is more than a profession, it’s a calling.
Your calling is not a job or anything that already exists. Your calling is your own, individual, unique self-actualization. This does not exist in the world yet – your duty is to create it from within yourself.
You may not know where to begin, but your inner guidance will tell you. What have you always loved doing since you were a child? When you do it, you lose track of time, you feel fulfilled and at peace. What are your natural talents and abilities that bring you happiness and contentment?
As with all presents, your gift has to be unwrapped. Instead of being concealed by paper, our gifts are wrapped up and sometimes hidden deep within us. They are often buried under fears of failure and criticism, fear of other people’s expectations, unidentified unmet needs, worries, and a multitude of other pressures. Once we begin understanding and relieving these pressures, we uncover our gift.
Many people spend a lifetime searching for it, tending to look outside themselves. But you cannot find it “out there.” Your gift is within you, always showing you signs, in those moments of enjoyment when you lose all sense of time, you feel uplifted and you feel a deep sense of fulfillment. This is your gift shining through.
When you take the time to look deep within yourself to discover your gift (and here is the amazing part), it will be presented to you. Once you uncover your gift, you will receive confirmation from the outside. This could be a friend observing you how good you are at something, or an exciting new opportunity is presented to you to do the work that you love, or it can be an article you read expressing a need for global change.
After I discovered my gift for coaching, I suddenly began attracting people into my life who needed guidance changing careers, or fulfilling their big goals and dreams. Once you have uncovered your gift, you will be on the road to fulfillment, happiness, and success. It is your wonderful contribution to the world and your duty to share it with others.
You have to do what you love, share your gifts, and be who you are in all your glory. Why would you settle for anything less? The world expects you to give your best. You have been blessed with extraordinary talents, unique gifts and a responsibility to share them. Once you change direction and step into who you really are, you will find that opportunities appear to support you. They have always been there but you just couldn’t see them, because you weren’t ready to accept them.
Once you get on track, and pursue what brings you bliss, you find the opportunities present themselves to you, and only you, as a way of confirming your new life direction. People, money, resources, whatever you need, become available to keep you moving forward in alignment with your highest purpose.
When you follow your bliss,
you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while, waiting for you.
And the life that you ought to be living
is the one you are living.
When you follow your bliss,
doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors,
and where there wouldn’t be doors for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell, author
Throughout our lives, we find ourselves in jobs and careers and, ultimately, our vocation. Each of these words has a distinct meaning.
A job is defined as a task, chore or duty. A job is often what you fall into. You may or may not enjoy it, but it is a means of earning money, A job does not provide many opportunities for advancement.
Career, comes from the French word, carriere, which means 'life path'. A career often spans many decades and offers a progression of positions and an increase in earnings.
But your life is bigger than that.
Vocation is my favorite word because it connects us with our highest purpose and the fulfillment of our dreams.
Vocation, comes from the Latin word, ‘vocatio’, which means 'little voice' or 'the calling'.
My experience has shown that our 'little voice' is hard to hear above the droning of city noises, computers, t.v.'s, iPods, and the loud voices of others (telling us what we should or shouldn't do). In order to truly hear our 'little voice' and understand our calling, we must be surrounded by silence, and listen intently to what our inner guidance is telling us. It is always there, we just have to turn down the outside noises, and turn up the inner volume. When you hear the voice, you may be quite surprised, but there is wisdom in it. Pay attention to it. You may be called to heal, to lead, to speak, to build, to discover, to perform or to create. And the details will come, once you acknowledge and accept the inner guidance.
Perhaps you have already heard your little voice, but disregarded it, finding 'logical' reasons to disbelieve, i.e. "I can’t do that; I don't have the right education; I don't have enough money; I’m not tall enough; No one will pay me for that; I don’t know the right people, It’s not very important,", etc. I’ve heard them all. And these louder voices keep us safe from risk, but in a velvet rut.
I know for sure that, everything you need to respond to your 'calling' is already within you. If you don’t think so, this is the reason. You have to look for the evidence that supports you and shows you how your past experiences (the good, the bad, and the ugly), have been necessary to give you the tools and wisdom to proceed.
Another, more poetic definition of 'vocation’ is 'where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need'
I particularly like this definition because it reinforces our inner-most desire to contribute to the betterment of humanity. And this brings us to a greater need. The world is calling out to you to participate in creating a just and peaceful world. We will achieve this when we live up to our full potential. The phenomenon of synergy occurs with the new connections of people and resources. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole, because the interactions create new discoveries and material realities. Non of these can be predicted.
You choose a job, a career, a trade or profession, but your calling chooses you. Your calling refers to your higher purpose. You have been designed specifically to participate and contribute to the great unfolding of the world. You have been called to contribute to the betterment of the world, by responding to your calling.
With more and more people heeding their calling, then another phenomenon will occur called critical mass or the tipping point. This is when a shift occurs and it becomes the norm to follow your heart, share your talents, and do what you love. We have a responsibility be courageous, make a positive change, and respond to our calling now, so that it becomes the norm for our children.
I've seen hundreds of people change their jobs and their careers to respond to their higher calling. This alignment brings good health, prosperity, enriched relationships, and a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment.
The purpose of this book is to inspire you and challenge you to rise up and change the world, and stand up for others, so that, together, our humanity reaches its highest and noblest purpose: A world in which every man, woman and child feels love, safety, belonging, happiness and the fulfillment of their wildest dreams.
Each of us has a right and a responsibility to contribute our talents to shape a far greater future.
I encourage you to be quiet, listen, and heed your calling. This is an opportunity to use your gifts for the highest good.
__________________________________________________
Coming soon:
Awareness of our Social Systems
- Government
- Schools
- Economic model
- T.V.
- Food Production
- Health
- Corporate Influence
- Military
Awareness of our Physical Environment
- Greenpeace
- Severn Cullis-Suzuki
- Chief Seattle
- Rachel Carson
- Spaceship Earth
Awareness of our Invisible Environment
- Energy and Consciousness
Awareness of the Universe
- Carl Sagan
- Nasa
- Harmony and Peace
CHAPTER TWO
Acknowledgement
CHAPTER THREE
Outside Logical Thinking
- Mother Therese
- Susan George
- Walt Disney
- Noam Chomsky
CHAPTER FOUR
Vision
CHAPTER FIVE
Action
CHAPTER SIX
Alignment
CHAPTER SEVEN
Measurement
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Super Power of Civil Society
- Boutros Boutros-Ghali
- Invastion of Iraq
- International Peace Movement
- The People of Canada and Prime Minister Jean Cretien
CHAPTER NINE
Contradictions Do Not Exist
- Ayn Rand
- The Alchemist
CHAPTER TEN
Vocation
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Strategies for World Peace
- The Global Elders
target="blank">http://www.theelders.org
- Miracle at Fushun
- Japanese Constitution Article 9
- Greenpeace
target="blank">http://www.greenpeace.org
- Jeremy Gilley: Day One of World Peace
target="blank">http://www.ted.com/talks/jeremy_gilley_one_day_of_peace.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/jeremy_gilley_one_day_of_peace.html
CHAPTER TWELVE
Beyond World Peace
RESOURCES
RESOURCES
Linda Mackie, Photographer
Providing creative and soulful photography, specializing in families, babies and pets, as well as bridal, fashion and editorial.
www.dandelionpictures.ca
Julie Beyer, For the Love of Food
Integrating plant-based, organic, whole foods into your every day life.
Offering private cooking classes, public classes, consultations, menu planning, and nutritious products.
"target="blank">www.loveoffood.ca
Anne Carson, Jewellery
Locally-made, beautifully-crafted natural stone jewellery.
Granville Island, Vancouver
www.annecarsondesign.com
Glenna Quinn, Healer and Psychic
Providing Reiki healing, Past Life Regression and Psychic readings.
www.pearlspiritualcentre.com
Julie Lee, Home and Business Art Consultant -Arthouse Gallery
Providing high quality original art and consulting services to socially-conscious clients.
www.arthousegallery.ca
Michel A. Laflamme, Owner, Michel A. Laflamme Architect and malDesign
Creating custom architectural and industrial designs utilizing the principles of clarity and simplicity.
www.maldesign.com
Ginny Paulsen, Fresh Web Design
Designing creative and practical websites for small-medium businesses
Vancouver-based
www.freshwebdesign.ca
Kids Books, books and gifts
Largest selection of books for children in Vancouver
www.kidsbooks.ca
Banyen Books and Sound, books, music and gifts
Specializing in Spiritual, Healing and Wisdom books
target="blank">www.banyen.com
Ride On Again, bikes
Donated bikes are recycled and donated to local kids as well as shipped
overseas to Africa
target="blank">www.rideonagain.com
Junebug and Sparkle, Children's clothing
Privately, locally-owned, one-of-a-kind Vancouver shop
West Broadway at Balaclava
Ten Thousand Villages Gifts
Fair Trade home items, gifts and coffee
www.tenthousandvillages.com
Choices Market, Groceries
Providing organic and specialty foods.
www.choicesmarket.com
FILMS
Field of Dreams
"If you build it, they will come."
Baraka
A state of blessedness.
Star Wars
"May the Force be with you."
The Matrix
"I can show you the door, but you are the one who must walk through it."
Read More
Linda Mackie, Photographer
Providing creative and soulful photography, specializing in families, babies and pets, as well as bridal, fashion and editorial.
www.dandelionpictures.ca
Julie Beyer, For the Love of Food
Integrating plant-based, organic, whole foods into your every day life.
Offering private cooking classes, public classes, consultations, menu planning, and nutritious products.
"target="blank">www.loveoffood.ca
Anne Carson, Jewellery
Locally-made, beautifully-crafted natural stone jewellery.
Granville Island, Vancouver
www.annecarsondesign.com
Glenna Quinn, Healer and Psychic
Providing Reiki healing, Past Life Regression and Psychic readings.
www.pearlspiritualcentre.com
Julie Lee, Home and Business Art Consultant -Arthouse Gallery
Providing high quality original art and consulting services to socially-conscious clients.
www.arthousegallery.ca
Michel A. Laflamme, Owner, Michel A. Laflamme Architect and malDesign
Creating custom architectural and industrial designs utilizing the principles of clarity and simplicity.
www.maldesign.com
Ginny Paulsen, Fresh Web Design
Designing creative and practical websites for small-medium businesses
Vancouver-based
www.freshwebdesign.ca
Kids Books, books and gifts
Largest selection of books for children in Vancouver
www.kidsbooks.ca
Banyen Books and Sound, books, music and gifts
Specializing in Spiritual, Healing and Wisdom books
target="blank">www.banyen.com
Ride On Again, bikes
Donated bikes are recycled and donated to local kids as well as shipped
overseas to Africa
target="blank">www.rideonagain.com
Junebug and Sparkle, Children's clothing
Privately, locally-owned, one-of-a-kind Vancouver shop
West Broadway at Balaclava
Ten Thousand Villages Gifts
Fair Trade home items, gifts and coffee
www.tenthousandvillages.com
Choices Market, Groceries
Providing organic and specialty foods.
www.choicesmarket.com
FILMS
Field of Dreams
"If you build it, they will come."
Baraka
A state of blessedness.
Star Wars
"May the Force be with you."
The Matrix
"I can show you the door, but you are the one who must walk through it."
